She’s the one you call when you’re bored because she makes you laugh. She’s the one you talk to when you’re feeling down because she’s willing to lend an ear and be a friend. She’s not the one you call when you need a date to your company’s Christmas party, or to go dancing with on a Saturday night. She’s the one you spend time with between girlfriends, before you find "The One". You know, the one who you keep around in the meantime.
She’s not one of the guys, not a tomboy, but you don’t look at her as a "real" woman, either. She’s not bitchy enough, moody enough, or sexy enough to be seen in that light. She’s too laid-back, too easily amused by the same things your male buddies are amused by. She’s too understanding, too comfortable – she doesn’t make you feel nervous or excited the way a "real" woman does. But she’s cool, and nice, and funny, and attractive enough that when you’re lonely or horny and need intimate female companionship, she’ll do just fine. You don’t have to wine and dine her because she knows the real you already, and you don’t have any facades to keep up, no pretenses to preserve. You’re not trying to get anything of substance out of her. She’s not easy, but you know that she cares about you and is attracted to you, and that she’ll give you the intimacy you need. And you know you don’t have to explain yourself or the situation, that she’ll be able to cope with the fact that this isn’t the beginning of a relationship or that there’s any possibility that you have any real romantic feelings for her. It won’t bother her that you’ll get up in the morning, put on your pants, say goodbye, and go on a date with the woman you’ve been mooning over for weeks who finally agreed to go out with you. She’ll settle for a goodbye hug and a promise to call her and tell her how the date went. She’s just so cool . . . why can’t all women be like that?!
But deep down, if you really think about it (which you probably don’t because to you, the situation between the two of you isn’t important enough to merit any real thought), you know that it’s really not fair. You know that although she would never say it, it hurts her to know that despite all her good points and all the fun you two have, you don’t think she’s good enough to spend any real time with. Sure, it’s mostly her fault, because she doesn’t have to give in to your needs – she could play the hard-to-get bitch like the rest of them do, if she really wanted to. But you and she both know that she probably couldn’t pull it off. Maybe she’s too short, or a little overweight, or has a big birthmark on her forehead, or works at Taco Bell. Whatever the reason, somehow life has given her a lot of really great qualities but has left out the ones that men want (or think they want) in a woman. So she remains forever the funny friend, the steadfast companion, the secret lover, and you go on searching for your goddess who will somehow be everything you ever wanted in a woman.
She doesn’t captivate you with her beauty, or open doors with her smile. Mainly she blends in with the crowd. She’s safe. She doesn’t want to be the center of attention and turn the heads of everyone in the room. But she wants to turn someone’s head. She wants to be special to someone, too. We all do.
She has feelings. She has a heart. In fact, she probably has a bigger and better heart than any woman you’ve ever known because she’s had a front-row seat to The Mess That Is Your Life, and she likes you anyway. She obviously sees something worthwhile and redeeming in you because although you’ve given her nothing, absolutely no reason to still be around, she is.
Anyway, yeah. I’m a Meantime Girl. Been one more times than I care to admit. I don’t know the reason, really, and at this point I don’t even care. I just want to let every guy know who’s ever had the good fortune to have a Meantime Girl that we may be a lot of fun, but we cry, too. A lot. And someday we won’t be around.
~Meantime Girl by Anonymous
====
Why is it that some people never appreciate what's already at hand? I must admit that i once had the fortune of having a pseudo Meantime Girl. I so easily brushed aside her efforts of procuring a more intimate relationship than what i could provide. She kept on and for a while I played along, thinking that I could have it my way... for us to be JUST FRIENDS. I was selfish and in the long run, she left. So yes, I am one of those people who often take things for granted. But just so you know, if there would be a male counterpart to the Meantime Girl, that would definitely be me. OUCH! I'm not saying this to clear up my conscience, simply put, shit happens and karma's payback is severe. From then on I've learned to always follow the GOLDEN RULE.
Haaaaahay... I miss her. And I'm sorry.
Sunday, January 28, 2007
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
rant # i dunno
I have no idea what I’d do with my life. No job, no purpose, no direction, no goal, no aim. Nada! Back when I was a kid, I could easily say that I’d be a paleontologist but look at me now! I couldn’t even see myself in a year’s time. Pffft! Nothing excites me anymore. I keep on ‘chilling’ and looking for ‘adventure’ to the point that it’s become darn too predictable. I’ve even sworn off my quick fix, drinking coz I’ve been at it non-stop. I’m telling you, there comes a point when not even that could better the feeling of ‘blankness.’ My life is so mundane. My life is so uninspiring. Oh wait! I don’t have a life… it’s that simple. What am I here for anyway? Hohum… But still, thank God for allowing me to survive the dreadful year that was 2006. Thank YOU!
And there’s also my dismal lurvelife. Demn! Most of my friends might not know this but I’ve been fretting over lurve for the past year. And there’s still no sign of Cupid! But lo and behold! My good friend Angel finally found herself a boyfriend! Hahaha… I can’t forget how we (classmates) used to tease her, “manigulang jud kang walay uyab Gel! Single for life!” And looky now, she even has “Til I met you, I never knew what love was” as her shout out. Demn! I guess our Kung Ako Nalang Sana deal’s off, eh Gel? It’s cool coz I still have a few contracts at hand. Hahaha… I know Cupid’s just fluttering about purposefully missing the arrows aimed at me or maybe he couldn’t find it amongst the pile of arrows reserved for the other hopefuls. And there’s also the chance that one’s already sticking out of my chest but I’ve been refusing to admit it. Who knows? Hahaha… I’ll just get crazier the more I think about this. Ambot!
Monday, January 08, 2007
ulan
Rain was pouring hard. 3:43pm - and I tried to find traces of my person in your words. I couldn't find me.
It’s been so long and I still feel like I’m only around whenever you need a good kick. But when it’s my turn to be sated, you never deliver. I don’t know why I keep on keeping on when the best you could give me are silly imaginings. How did you even manage to slip past my defenses?
I never thought I'd be too agreeable, too convenient. Not that it was your fault although you could have done more. I’m beginning to sound like him, don’t I?
And yet we are different because unlike him, I would never settle for ambiguity. Unlike him, I won’t be swallowed by the vacuum of your insatiable ego. Unlike him, I will not grant you the satisfaction of having me beg or cry. And unlike him, I will stop before things get out of hand...
But until then let me just love you in silence because like rain on a gloomy Monday, this too shall pass.
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