fact it

fact! i was supposed to buy this cool jacket i've been drooling on for days but somebody got to it first. fact! i checked yesterday if it was still there, it was, and i even tried it on, it fit perfectly! so i went to the nearest atm to get some cash coz what i had was insufficient but on the way back i was met with heavy traffic. when i finally reached the place it was friggin closed!!! it was still 6:40pm on my watch, and they're supposed to close on 7 friggin' pm! FACT! i grudgingly went back home and was greeted with my father's assurance that nobody will pick that item any time soon, that i should take my time. feeling reassured, i was hopeful for tomorrow. and so the day of reckoning came, i hurriedly went to the shop, asked for the size i previously tried on, and waited excitedly near the dressing room... when lo and behold, the most tragic news hit me, they sold it to someone earlier. i was a few minutes late. FACT! i was annoyed beyond words! then i noticed the dour looking manager approach and finally stopping by to listen in on the conversation i was having with the clerk. i ended up asking the manager when she'll restock on the said item but she pretended not to hear. i swear i could've thrown the clothes rack at her then and there! fact! but i composed myself and repeated the same question matched with a glare and a tone of impatience. i'm sure that caught her by surprise and expectedly, she lightened her mood. 'i'm afraid we won't be ordering the same line. try our other items, sir' she said, with a less indifferent approach. it wasn't the best response but a clear improvement from before. serves her right that hag. spirit low and clearly pissed off, i told my father what happened and as if adding insult to injury, told me that i should have bought it first thing in the morning. ahhhhhh.. i was about to blow up in anger! wasn't he the one who told me that nobody will go for the same item? wasn't he the one who told me to take my time?! that hypocrite, blaming me for the actions i clearly took from his advice. i just shut my mouth. grrrr...

so my friends tell me 'maybe it just wasn't meant for you, that you'll find something better if not the best. just wait.' how come i'm not convinced? it felt like it was meant for me. that it was the best. i waited for so long, brooding on the very thought of wanting it. and when the time was ripe for me to have it, the universe keeps me from it. fact! why? everything i wanted; work, independence, healthier relationships, vacation, etc. not one of those did i ever get! don't i at least deserve that jacket? it was small compared to my previous wants but still its a NO! ahhhhhhhhhhhh... i know its shallow but the littlest things tick me off these days. i'm going crazy!

haven't i waited long enough?

here's a sad/cute/funny vid to remind you how the world can be so unfair. that bitch... watch the vid and you'll see what i mean.




tough.

take me to beautiful

i've been a hermit as of late. i think i deserve a good break from everything... for lack of resources and time. this realization came about when my friggin’ flu didn’t get any better after 2 weeks of torment. besides, it’s highly unlikely that the world’s gonna miss me. i just need some time alone to recuperate and nurse myself back to health. i believe that my hibernation is well-deserved and im not sure when i’ll come out of this. errrr… i don’t have anything left to say… i don’t even know why i’m writing this… just that i wanted to explain my disconnectedness. disconnectedness… wow, long word. i’m so discombobulated! what?! another long word! demn… oh well, here are some pretty pictures to distract you from my usual loopyness.

cotton candy

eye in the sky

smells like violets

these pics were taken in palawan. absolutely breathtaking! well, that's it for now. oyasumi nasai!

sunday afternoon

it's a choice to stay
it's a dream and I wanna wake

you have blood on your hands
and I'm feeling faint
and honey, you can't decide

I'm a drug you don't wanna give up
smoke your cigarettes, make your love

you poured blood in my heart
and I can't get enough
I'm drowning, drowning
and you can't decide

it's not about geography or happenstance
you need to fly and take a chance
you don't need to soar to emptiness
or float on high and forever dance alone
you're scared, scared, scared
cause I feel like home

hear your voice, knew right away
if you were here your eyes would say
there is blood on my feet
as I'm walking away
rivers are red, it's starting to rain

I'm not gonna live for you or die for you
won't do anything anymore for you
cause you leave me here on the other side

I'm not gonna shed one more tear for you
at least not til sunday afternoon
sunday afternoon

leave or stay

===
this is a beautiful song by the ever brilliant rachael yamagata. it has been eating at me for a long while but its funny how i'm actually posting this on a sunday afternoon. coincidence? in doo's words 'natumbok mo, kaibigan.' :P here's a vid to prove my point. what point, you ask? that its a wonderful song of course! hayy.. enough of the small talk.. check it out.



pfft...