it hurts having to hurt people. it hurts some more that they continue hurting for the love of you. how long will I get on with this? when will you find me? up until there are a host of others in my wake?
Sunday, January 09, 2005
Sunday, January 02, 2005
inner smile
(one, two, three, four)
Yeh, yeh
Yeh, yeh
Yeh, yeh
Yeh, yeh
Yeh, yeh
Yeh, yeh
Oh yeh
You gave me something
Like loving
And took me in so soon
You took my feelings
From nothing
Came back at noon
Just meet me
I’m ready
To show myself to you
So if I lose my patience
You must try to understand
(try to understand)
If I lose my patience
Oh yeh
Cause you make me feel
Cause you make me feel wild
You touch my inner smile
You got me in the mood
So come on and make your rule
And free me
You make my wishes
As much as
Your kisses make me blue
You’ve found my river
Now will you
Escape away too
But baby
I’m ready
I’m falling into you
So if I lose my patience
You must try to understand
(try to understand)
If I lose my patience
Oh yeh
Cause you make me feel
Cause you make me feel wild
You touch my inner smile
You got me in the mood
So come on and make your rule
And free me
Free me
Free me
Wow wow wow
Wow wow wow
Wow yeh
Cause you make me feel wild
You touch my inner smile
You got me in the mood
So come on and make your rule
And touch my inner smile
Come get my inner smile
Smile
Smile
Yeh yeh
Sometimes I need to be alone
There’s times I need for you to phone
Sometimes you make me feel so high
There’s times I ask myself why
Sometimes I need to be alone
There’s times...
Yeh, yeh
Yeh, yeh
Yeh, yeh
Yeh, yeh
Yeh, yeh
Yeh, yeh
Oh yeh
You gave me something
Like loving
And took me in so soon
You took my feelings
From nothing
Came back at noon
Just meet me
I’m ready
To show myself to you
So if I lose my patience
You must try to understand
(try to understand)
If I lose my patience
Oh yeh
Cause you make me feel
Cause you make me feel wild
You touch my inner smile
You got me in the mood
So come on and make your rule
And free me
You make my wishes
As much as
Your kisses make me blue
You’ve found my river
Now will you
Escape away too
But baby
I’m ready
I’m falling into you
So if I lose my patience
You must try to understand
(try to understand)
If I lose my patience
Oh yeh
Cause you make me feel
Cause you make me feel wild
You touch my inner smile
You got me in the mood
So come on and make your rule
And free me
Free me
Free me
Wow wow wow
Wow wow wow
Wow yeh
Cause you make me feel wild
You touch my inner smile
You got me in the mood
So come on and make your rule
And touch my inner smile
Come get my inner smile
Smile
Smile
Yeh yeh
Sometimes I need to be alone
There’s times I need for you to phone
Sometimes you make me feel so high
There’s times I ask myself why
Sometimes I need to be alone
There’s times...
---
It's just a song I'm singing. But really, who will get to touch my inner smile?
fresh
It's 2005 and yes, I continue to wait for that which will break down the shield that has crippled me from moving on to a better life, a life that may really be worth living. The very shield that I had put up to protect me from the harshness of the world around me has become the sole prison that i seek release from. It's funny how the mechanism that has guarded me for so long ended up being my greatest weakness.
The new year spells change and fresh beginnings. I believe so. And yet, here I am thinking, hoping with lack of action, wallowing in the stagnant pool that I consider as my universe. The irony. And so I swim until that which will disturb my world arrives.
Hey, don't make me wait too long... it does get tedious you know. I've been at it all my life.
The new year spells change and fresh beginnings. I believe so. And yet, here I am thinking, hoping with lack of action, wallowing in the stagnant pool that I consider as my universe. The irony. And so I swim until that which will disturb my world arrives.
Hey, don't make me wait too long... it does get tedious you know. I've been at it all my life.
Saturday, January 01, 2005
i am the dandy
Most of us feel trapped within the limited roles that the world expects us to play. We are instantly attracted to those who are more fluid that we are - those who create their own persona. Dandies excite us because they cannot be categorized, and hint at a freedom we want for ourselves. They play with masculinity and femininity; they fashion their own physical image, which is always startling. Use the power of the Dandy to create an ambiguous, alluring presence that stirs repressed desires.
Symbol: The Orchid. Its shape and colour oddly suggest both sexes, its odour is sweet and decadent - it is a tropical flower of evil. Delicate and highly cultivated, it is prized for its rarity; it is unlike any other flower.
What Type of Seducer are You?
once again, i find myself in a box.
Symbol: The Orchid. Its shape and colour oddly suggest both sexes, its odour is sweet and decadent - it is a tropical flower of evil. Delicate and highly cultivated, it is prized for its rarity; it is unlike any other flower.
What Type of Seducer are You?
once again, i find myself in a box.
Thursday, December 30, 2004
sick
When you think of your past love, you may view it as a failure.
But when you find a new love, youview the past as a teacher.
In the game of love, itdoesn't really matter who won or who lost.
What is important is you know when to hold on and when to let go.
You know you really love someone when you want him or her to be happy.
Even if their happiness means that you're not part of it.
Everything happens for the best.
If the person you love doesn't love you back, dont be afraid to love someone else again, for you'll never know unless you give it a try.
You'll never love a person you love unless you risk for love.
Love strives in hurting.
If you don't get hurt, you don't learn how to love.
Love doesn't hurt all the time, though the hurting is still there to test you, to help you grow.
Don't find love, let love find you.
That's why it's called falling in love because you don't force yourself to fall.
You just fall.
You cannot finish a book without closing its chapters.
If you want to go on, then you have to leave the past as you turn the pages.
Love is not destroyed by a single failure or won by a single caress.
It is a lifetime venture in which we are always learning, discovering and growing.
The greatest irony of love is letting go when you need to hold on and holding on when you need to let go.
We lose someone we love only when we are destined to find someone else; one who can love us even more than we can love ourselves.
On falling out of love, take some time to heal and then get beckon the horse.
But don't ever make the same mistake of riding the same one that threw you the first time.
To love is to risk rejection; to live is to risk dying, to hope is to risk failure.
But risk must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.
To reach for another is to risk involvement, to expose your feelings is to expose your true self.
To love is to risk not to be loved in return.
How to define love: fall but do not stumble, be constant but not too persistent, share and never be unfair, understand and try not to demand, hurt but never keep the pain.
Love is like a knife.
It can stab the heart or it can carve wonderful images into the soul that always last for a lifetime.
Love is supposed to be the most wonderful feeling.
It should inspire you and give you joy and strength.
But sometimes the things that give you joy can also hurt you in the end.
Loving people means giving them the freedom who they choose to be and where they choose to be.
For all the heartaches and the tears, for gloomy days and fruitless years, you should give thanks for you know, that they were the things that have helped you grow.
Loving someone means giving him the freedom to find his way.........whether it leads towards you or away from you. ....
Love is a painful risk to take but the
risk must be taken no matter how scary or painful, for only then that you'll experience the fullness of humanity and that is love.
Only love can hurt your heart, fill you with desire, and tear you apart.
Only love can make you cry and only love knows why.
If you're not ready to cry, if you're not ready to take the risk, if you're not ready to feel the pain, then you're not ready to fall in love.
There was a time in our lives when we became afraid to fall in love.
Because every time we do, we get hurt.
We fall out of love but it's unfair not 2 give love another chance.
B4, it may hurt but this time, it may be the kind of love that is meant 4 us...
The love that may last 4ever....
The love that will bind two hearts 2gether and give pure joy to 2 souls longing 4 each other....
Now, tell me...are u in love?
---
Whoever wrote this is a sure romantic. and no im not in love but it is tempting... I just found it funny how people can be this.. romantic. well for the one who wrote this, good for you! I might as well be realistic and drop this nonsense. Bah! love is a waste of energy and time.
Woe is me. I have lost passion.
But when you find a new love, youview the past as a teacher.
In the game of love, itdoesn't really matter who won or who lost.
What is important is you know when to hold on and when to let go.
You know you really love someone when you want him or her to be happy.
Even if their happiness means that you're not part of it.
Everything happens for the best.
If the person you love doesn't love you back, dont be afraid to love someone else again, for you'll never know unless you give it a try.
You'll never love a person you love unless you risk for love.
Love strives in hurting.
If you don't get hurt, you don't learn how to love.
Love doesn't hurt all the time, though the hurting is still there to test you, to help you grow.
Don't find love, let love find you.
That's why it's called falling in love because you don't force yourself to fall.
You just fall.
You cannot finish a book without closing its chapters.
If you want to go on, then you have to leave the past as you turn the pages.
Love is not destroyed by a single failure or won by a single caress.
It is a lifetime venture in which we are always learning, discovering and growing.
The greatest irony of love is letting go when you need to hold on and holding on when you need to let go.
We lose someone we love only when we are destined to find someone else; one who can love us even more than we can love ourselves.
On falling out of love, take some time to heal and then get beckon the horse.
But don't ever make the same mistake of riding the same one that threw you the first time.
To love is to risk rejection; to live is to risk dying, to hope is to risk failure.
But risk must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.
To reach for another is to risk involvement, to expose your feelings is to expose your true self.
To love is to risk not to be loved in return.
How to define love: fall but do not stumble, be constant but not too persistent, share and never be unfair, understand and try not to demand, hurt but never keep the pain.
Love is like a knife.
It can stab the heart or it can carve wonderful images into the soul that always last for a lifetime.
Love is supposed to be the most wonderful feeling.
It should inspire you and give you joy and strength.
But sometimes the things that give you joy can also hurt you in the end.
Loving people means giving them the freedom who they choose to be and where they choose to be.
For all the heartaches and the tears, for gloomy days and fruitless years, you should give thanks for you know, that they were the things that have helped you grow.
Loving someone means giving him the freedom to find his way.........whether it leads towards you or away from you. ....
Love is a painful risk to take but the
risk must be taken no matter how scary or painful, for only then that you'll experience the fullness of humanity and that is love.
Only love can hurt your heart, fill you with desire, and tear you apart.
Only love can make you cry and only love knows why.
If you're not ready to cry, if you're not ready to take the risk, if you're not ready to feel the pain, then you're not ready to fall in love.
There was a time in our lives when we became afraid to fall in love.
Because every time we do, we get hurt.
We fall out of love but it's unfair not 2 give love another chance.
B4, it may hurt but this time, it may be the kind of love that is meant 4 us...
The love that may last 4ever....
The love that will bind two hearts 2gether and give pure joy to 2 souls longing 4 each other....
Now, tell me...are u in love?
---
Whoever wrote this is a sure romantic. and no im not in love but it is tempting... I just found it funny how people can be this.. romantic. well for the one who wrote this, good for you! I might as well be realistic and drop this nonsense. Bah! love is a waste of energy and time.
Woe is me. I have lost passion.
Monday, December 27, 2004
insomnia
yippee!! it's exactly 2:59am in my clock and i'm still up. im too bored to sleep and im too tired to do anything but waste time. im not moving any bit on the positive.
factors:
it sucks hurting people when not meaning to. and when i do hurt people on purpose i feel less burdened, amused even. release. the irony of things.
a lot of things have been dragging me to their own ends.. i dont know wether they're pulling me toward the right or wrong direction. im in such a bind and i feel so helpless. and yet, i dont want to do anything about it.
im so detached from my former self. is this a good thing or a bad thing? can it be both? ack! it's tearing me apart. i dont know how to react. i feel.. helpless and it sickens me.
being weak sucks. but wearing a mask and acting as if ur under control is worse. it was never my intention to pull people down with me. it may have given me this sense of controlling the wheel but it demanded a huge amount of responsibility.. with what, i dont know. im not good with responsibilities. im not good with commitments. im not good with anything but slowing people down so i can feed off their youth.. their innocence.. their sincerity.. it nourishes me.
i am losing my favourite game. and what's worse is, nobody's there to see me fall.
hmmm.. and i just realized that insomnia can be contagious.
oh well.. im back. back to pretending as if everything's fine.. when it's not. find me
factors:
it sucks hurting people when not meaning to. and when i do hurt people on purpose i feel less burdened, amused even. release. the irony of things.
a lot of things have been dragging me to their own ends.. i dont know wether they're pulling me toward the right or wrong direction. im in such a bind and i feel so helpless. and yet, i dont want to do anything about it.
im so detached from my former self. is this a good thing or a bad thing? can it be both? ack! it's tearing me apart. i dont know how to react. i feel.. helpless and it sickens me.
being weak sucks. but wearing a mask and acting as if ur under control is worse. it was never my intention to pull people down with me. it may have given me this sense of controlling the wheel but it demanded a huge amount of responsibility.. with what, i dont know. im not good with responsibilities. im not good with commitments. im not good with anything but slowing people down so i can feed off their youth.. their innocence.. their sincerity.. it nourishes me.
i am losing my favourite game. and what's worse is, nobody's there to see me fall.
hmmm.. and i just realized that insomnia can be contagious.
oh well.. im back. back to pretending as if everything's fine.. when it's not. find me
Monday, November 22, 2004
missing
I want to keep this blog thing going on but I just don't know what to put in here. I'm just whiling away my time aimlessly, hoping I'll find myself in a place where I don't have to aggravate the tediousness. I sorely miss an intelligent conversation. Anybody up for the challenge? It has been an unproductive day, heck everyday of my life is. This covers up everything I have to say at the moment. I lack motivation so let me get some.
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