:((

this is the lost ending to calvin and hobbes. it's quite sad. poor, poor hobbes... got me thinking though... i wish i had calvin's pills. *sighs*


*i stole this from doo . i couldn't help it. :D she just got to it first coz blahblahblahblah.. wahahaha.. peace doobidoo.

suki de doushiyou mo nai

Doushite onaji you na panchi
Nando mo kuracchaun da

Koi wo shite owari wo tsuge
Chikau koto wa kyou ga saisho no good day

Aki no dorama no saihousou
Sore demo mata tatakaun darou

Sakura sae toki no naka de
Yurete yagate hana wo sakasu yo

O yasumi nasai
Yoi yume o

===

Sayonara! ;P

pahungaw

gisapot ko karon! i am at my wit's end!!! sige nalang kog ka-ipit sa problema!!!!! leche!!!!!!!!!!! dont make the choices i made sound like it was what i really wanted!!!! gikapoy najud ko ani nga style!!! peste!!! palihog ayaw ko i-pressure karun coz i'm still dealing with the unfair judgment you laid down!!!! i want to go away coz i'm so tired of all this drama!!!!!!!!! soooos.. kung sayun lang jud nga magpalayo, dugay rako nilayo!!! pero dili ko escapist kaya pasalamat jud ky taas kog pasensya!!!!! magpa-ugat pa kog maayo ani! i was trying my best to keep my cool pero kelangan jud ko magpahungaw ky napuno najud ko!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ahhhhhhhhhhhhh... kalami ishagit!!! Lord, tabangi ko ky matuluyan najud kog ka-buang ani.. please.

----

The Bottom Line

You're approaching a critical point. Look upon this day like any other.

In Detail

In a business or school environment, you are approaching a critical point ... but you should look upon this day like any other. The worst thing you can do right now is let yourself get intimidated by certain expectations. If you overthink things, you'll lose perspective and could sell yourself short. If you are feeling a bit uncertain, lean on the folks around you who can help cheer you on or cheer you up. Remember that you know exactly what to do and how to do it.

----

tagos bha?! so who's willing to cheer me up? sige na... hahay... tough.

*can you keep a secret?

soon

Take care
I've been hurt before
Too much time spent on closing doors
You may hate me, but I'll remember to love you
Goodbye
Don't cry
You know why
And it'll be just as quiet when I leave
As it was when I first got here
I don't expect anything
I don't expect anything

All the waves of blame arrange as broken scenery
As they steal your best memories away
What if I was someone different in your only history?
Would you feel the same
As I walk out the door
Never to see your face again
Never to see your face again

And it'll be just as quiet when I leave
As it was when I first got here
It'll be just as quiet when I leave
As it was when I first got here
I don't expect anything
I don't expect anything
I don't expect anything
I don't expect anything
I don't expect anything
I don't expect anything to change when I leave

~Rachael Yamagata - Quiet
===

yes, very soon...

virgohoro 9/29/06

The Bottom Line

Pick up your feet and get moving toward what you want right now. Just get up and go!

In Detail

If you're waiting for someone to give you their approval to move forward with your plans, you're wasting your time. You don't need any approval from anyone to do what you want to do today ... could you be looking for an excuse to put things off a little longer? Silly you -- don't you know that procrastination is out of style? Pick up your feet and get moving toward what you want right now, because there's no reason for any hesitation. Just get up and go!

====

really now? i'm stuck in a rut and i just cant get out of it... elvin is a prisoner and freedom is past tense.

meet me

to those who are awfully concerned,

i've been home for almost a month and i really miss the past four months i spent elsewhere. hahay... i would've stayed longer if it weren't for my fruitless exploits. still, i had a blast! thanks to the people i've met and chilled with. nyehehehe...

i miss my blue mansion buddies and their trademark lines:
Bababe - 'bakit ang nacua, magaling sa sex?' bwahahahahaha.. leche ka mel! mingaw nako nimong manyaka ka! bleh! hanggang lips ka lang. lol
KR - 'spell raden... KR!' maski NR (No Response) ni.. ambot nalang jud. asa man tawon ang mama ug papa aning bata?
Squaredy - 'put your ai squared in, put your ai squared out...' balik balik imong luto namo hah! sumo na kaayo ang monggos.. pero oks lang basta ba't musayaw ug Like A Virgin.
Ate Che - *yosi exhalation technique* hahahahaha.. da best. we love ate cheeee...
Lioness - 'wan, to, tre!' champion ni mahubog! and champion sa PDA with Huge.

my cassandras:
Iceland - 'cass, wag ang pekpek ko! ahhhh... rapist!' wala na akong ma-harrass.. dont worry at babanatan kita if and when i get back. hehehe
Langai - 'cass, naay ok-ok!' peste.. hahahaha.. mao ni ang bad influence nako. bleh! di unta niya ni mabasa. :D masbug-at pa raba imong gipadala nga pasalubong kesa sa akong bagahe hah!
Aki - 'huy cass! kahadlok bha! dad-on na tika sa mandaluyong loob bhe!' hahay.. ug naghilak-hilak ni ron ky gimingaw nako.. lol. joke. huy, ingna si baby katong gibilin nako niya ky dapat niya ampingan!

i miss my officemates (PS friends) as well.. nica, rocelle, jeffrey, lurshlee, teeets, airlan, etc.. and lan i still havent returned your ps2 game. shet. just think of that as a parting gift coz i dont think i can work on my clearance anytime soon. nic, just hang in there! you'll do great! :D hehehe.. i miss my solo lunchbreaks mostly spent in kfc, tokyo tokyo, mcdo or sa jolijip. ahhhh.. turbo treats honey mustard and szechuan rice bowl meal!! and yes, i miss my kras. aaaah.. smoking balcony i mishu too. ahahahaha.. :P

gawd, i'll be missing jom, mikki, lu, amping and our nightouts. those were very fun times however rare. avilon zoo/wawa dam was a blast! like i always say "ITS THE JOURNEY, NOT THE DESTINATION." lol! and lu... i'd never forget our coffee sessions in starbs, sbc, figaro and ofcourse CBTL. those precious times wouldn't be the same without em trademark umbrellas! haaaay.. we used to adjourn our sessions round 2am despite the fact that we have work several hours later. twas the life! hohum.. :D and and and.. i told you i'd find the ant.. it just took one mass (which i missed a whole lot btw) for it to happen. i told ya so! hahaha..

cassandras, remember how we used to go out at 10pm almost every night and ride off from one end of the metro to another? ahhh.. i miss that. we've went to all the party places/tambayans worth going to. chillax on weekdays and wasted on weekends. perfect! :D plus, we always went to SM North on sundays for church and meet up with baby after. the days.. tell him he shud treat me to mr. kabab when i get the chance to visit. ahhhh.. t5 sa pioneer grill and then washing/videosingko sa rj's bulalohan! what about our bus/mrt rush hour adventures?! huhuhuhuhu...

and i'll be missing those people who i know would make uber great friends if i had more to time to get to know them better. awww.. for those i failed to meet, treated me out, got to know in random places, etc. i will make it up to you guys SOMEHOW. but while i ain't around, just a word of advice: CHILLAX. :D

basta... i miss a lot of things, places, people, animals, events... all nouns. there's so much to write about and i'll simply run out of space if i'll blabber on.

hohum.. after all that im back to square one at twenty one (uy rhyme! hehehe). yet again, i'm off to find a new job or most probably go back to school. blech. just when i thought i'd find myself there and live a meaningful life, you know? i guess i havent.. and the search is still on. but would i even like me if i met me? wehh..

hahay... things will be better, i know. take it from the champion of hoping be it false or true or tralse. i'm no longer making sense, am i?

oh well.. i just wanna be happy, take it from where i can get it and keep it for as long as i can.

CHILL!

sincerely yours,
me

P.S.
happiness, where do you go when you're gone? i miss you!

this is her story

She feels like crying to attain some sense of justice but all she could ever muster was a heavy heart with a fainting beat. She wonders if he matters enough, enough for tears to spill from her welling eyes. When she looks at him, who she sees makes her tomorrows but when he looks at her, all he ever finds is a friend. And after a long time of staring into space, she throws me a question, ‘when will I ever weep for that which never existed from the start?’

I fall silent.

He only wants her the way he wants her. He is the sea and like sand on the shore, she wants to be a part of him, completely. Pushed away and pulled back again, she rises up, breaks and falls, forever…

'I love him, ardently,' she says. I felt that word, once. I know this story all too well.

And as if on cue the moonless sky mimics what our hearts seek to hide. 'Its raining. There goes your answer,' I finally reply.

I sip my coffee, hoping to achieve a moment's peace in a cup. All is still.

'What shall happen tonight?'

thousandth hahay

The sun isn't as magnificent as it used to when you were still around. I want to tell you that but I don't know if I should...

Gawd. I miss you. Badly.

a halloween story

You are a spirit that sprung out of a chance encounter. It’s curious how I’m the only one to see you when we both float in circumstances shared by many others. That’s why all I could make out are pieces that never fall into place. But what I do know is this; we are the same you and I, ghosts, bound to empty husks forever playing out an unfinished score, a song carrying a hollow tune that never reaches past the twisted note seated next to finality. Yet somehow, very much like an echo that can’t be ignored, yours overpowered mine and it pierced through the anonymity that we anxiously protect. And now that is all that resounds in the haunting where I subsist.

It saddens me to see your beautiful form in unrest, drowned in violent waves that incessantly crash against an unmoving cliff. Yes, I tried to pull you out of your desolation but when I did, a blink was all it took for my hand to easily fly through yours. I knew what was coming for we are numb creatures who would rather spin a broken record than yield to the mended piece. But if your absolution is my song’s meaning then I'll find a way...

I have fallen mute to the world but it matters not because no man will ever find reason why a ghost means to touch a ghost.

Clock

Timer stops now.

No.

But why?

Maybe because you’re the only one around…

I want to treat you differently but you don’t plan on having that realized, do you?

Let’s play it by ear.

I guess you’re too confident to admit anything, knowing that I’ve been waiting on you. Aren’t you tired because I’m getting there fast?

Ambiguity is fine with me.

It once was. You keep me guessing. That’s all you could ever give me... I wish I knew your face so that you’ll no longer be a stranger to me. But I will have to settle with this, don’t I?

I don’t know.

Stars fall, you know and I’m hanging on for yours... Oh well, if not in this lifetime there’s always the next. Won’t you say goodbye and get this over with?

You’re funny.

And you once said that you’re amused with making some people bleed. Am I on that same list because if I am, I’m an ounce close to drying out?

*sighs*

It’ll be a year in three months. Why don’t you make those hands tick faster so that I’ll get there sooner?

…

Please rid me of this illusion, so I wouldn’t have to ask questions you’d never answer.

what's your wish?

i wish i never cared so that I wouldn't be dying everyday. mao lang na. bow. thank you.

take a hint

Doh! Sumo sa tanang sumo! You always end up messing your life and you run to me, asking for whatever comfort you can get. But no matter how many times we talk, nothing I say ever gets through to you. For countless times, I’ve sincerely offered you my counsel, you say you’ll try and then the next thing I know we’re back to zero.

I am sick, sick of you for piling up one problem after another and having me hear it over and over again. I’ve been your scapegoat for so long. Yes, I understand that I’m the only person you can really talk to but whatever-we’re-in right now, it’s not helping the both of us. You’re not learning and at the same time the weight of whatever-we-have isn’t getting me anywhere. It was fun but I can’t be just the shrink forever. I have problems too, you know, and I plan on resolving them. And the first on my list, is YOU.

You should know that I hate goodbyes but with you it’s not as difficult as I expected it to be. I had fun last night. Why? Because I never got to think about you, worry about you, talk about you. Not having you around in every waking minute of my day might make my life better.
But you should know that while writing this I felt my conscience throwing boulders at me. Don’t ever think that you didn’t matter because you DID. Well, maybe you still do for just a tiny bit. Aftershocks I guess. I’ve spent so many months with you and that’s enough to have me pick a handful of wonderful moments to bring with me. The times we shared were beautiful but I want something that’s consistent, clear, tangible… something deeper. A validation of all of those things you never gave me, things you could never give. I know it’s selfish, I know it may be unfair on your part because you’ve never done anything harsh but there’s always a time when one needs to move out of unproductive relationships. As for me, that time is now.

Sayonara. Ciao. Au Revoir. Adios. Goodbye.

It should’ve just been you I bid farewell to and not... someone else. Hahay. It’s bothersome having to start over again but I’ll find someone who’ll show me why it never worked between you and me.

Time will reveal.

sorta goodbye

Yes, i am the wind,
flying past one desert to another.
and you are the Bedouin, burnt dry,
yet too proud to wash yourself with me

I would have been the one carrying the rain,
water that would quell your long drought.
But never given that chance,
I am spent.

I will run past dunes and sandstorms, again,
when i would've wanted to stay a bit longer.
Still, I am content at that one shot
of having been able to cool your parched soul.

I have lingered enough in your oasis
and so with flight i will find closure.
And though the relief i could’ve given is rare,
those days are gone.


***

its funny how you spurred me to draw near although the nearest i could get was still too far to see your face yet close enough to see your chains. i would've unchained you if you wanted me to but you didn't. i guess i'll never be the boy who'll set you free. now, i'm so far from home but i haven't gone anywhere.

=====

this post is long overdue. i am happy (?)

sanamanipud

it seems that the only option i have right now is to wait for that star with your name to fall. please make this easier for me.

ouch indeed.

magbisaya ko kay gikapoy nakog sigeg english. walay magbuot. dugo sa ilong ang maabtan sa mupalag. so... gimingaw nako sa akong superfriends. wala mo kabalo sa kamingaw nga akong gibati ky wala mo diri. pasensya na kung sauna murag gisayun sayun ra nako ang atong pag-uban pero karon rajud nidulot ang akong paghinangup ninyo. hahay... ambot lang. wala man gud koy makasturya diri. unya ug naa man gani, binuang ra halos ang sturya. kanang naay oras para sa pagpakatawa pero naa pod higayun nga dapat sineryoso ang sturya, diba?
ambot nganu napadpad ko aning lugara oi. mao man pod ni akong gusto, para ma-independent. wala ko nagdahum nga akong gipangita ky bahin ra sa pagpanginabuhi, kundili apil pod diay sa uban butang... hahay. naa unta mo diri mga superfriends para naa koi mapagawsan sa akong gibati. it's really lonely not having you guys around especially when i'm at my weakest.
i know that 2006 should be our year but we're already half way through and nothing seems to be going right. i hope we can make it up for what's left of this year. cheers to us!
as for you, gikapoy nakog dula.. kanus-a paman ka makabati nga.. ahhhh, wala. i'll just leave it as it is then. di man gud pod ko kabalo unsaon pagsturya nimo. mapalaw pa lang ko. swerte kaayo ka. hahay.
trabaho nako.

thought cloud

don't you notice how im beginning to retrace my steps?
sad, isn't it?
that you're gone and i'm walking back.

a-okay

okay, updates? well i had a weird dream again. the kind that you shouldn't feel good about but hits you in all the right places, ya know? oh well, it was just a stupid scenario my unconscious self conured anyway but still... hahay.

as for my decision to work elsewhere.. erm.. it's been good. the first few weeks was torture though. but everthings been going smoothly since i found a new place (aircon=heaven). hehehehe.. and ill be getting my first pay this friday! yey..

life's okay. work's okay.

i smile and laugh often especially since my new friends call me tanga (or anything synonymous to that) due to my clumsiness/forgetfullness/carelessness and what have you.

everything's OKAY, really.

but im not happy.

ugly.

virgohoro 5/5/06

The Bottom Line
You're extremely capable of seeing what needs to be done and making progress today!

In Detail
Your emotional vision is a perfect 20-20 today -- you will finally see things in a clear, honest way. With little mystery left, the choice will be clear for you. Saying goodbye is surprisingly easy today when you know that this fork in the road holds two very rewarding (yet opposite) plans for each of you. You now see that staying on the same path is a mistake for one of you. You're entering a strong selfless phase that will keep your heart warm even when you're missing people you love.
====
is this really is it? wehehehehehehe.. i don't have much to say so there. :D

Why God made Mums - BRILLIANT

Answers given by 2nd grade school children to the following questions !!!

Why did God make mothers?
1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.

How did God make mothers?
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
3. God made my Mum just the same like he made me. He Just used
bigger parts.

What ingredients are mothers made of?
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything
nice in the world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly
use string, I think.

Why did God give you Your mother & not some other mum?
1.We're related.
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's mums like
me.

What kind of little girl was your mum?
1. My mum has always been my mum and none of that other stuff.
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be
pretty bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.

What did mum need to know about dad before she married him?
1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get
drunk on beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and
YES to chores?

Why did your mum marry your dad?
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mum eats a
lot.
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My grandma says that Mum didn't have her thinking cap on.

Who's the boss at your house?
1. Mum doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a
goof ball.
2. Mum. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under
the bed.
3. I guess Mum is, but only because she has a lot more
to do than dad.

What's the difference between mums & dads?
1. Mums work at work and work at home & dads just go to work at
work.
2. Mums know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3. Dads are taller & stronger, but mums have all the real power
'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your
friend's.

4. Mums have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.
What does your mum do in her spare time?
1. Mothers don't do spare time.
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.

What would it take to make your mum perfect?
1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind
of plastic surgery.
2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.

If you could change one thing about your Mum, what would it be?
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get
rid of that.
2. I'd make my Mum smarter. Then she would know it was my sister
who did it and not me.
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the
back of her head.
========
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawwww... mishu ma!

letter read

Time passes by while I wait for your call
Time passes by; I hear nothing at all

And I'm afraid, and I can't breathe,
And I'm in love with you
But you are not with me
And I have put so much into a life
I made too much about you now to lie

-Rachael Yamagata

===

SHIT! this again! GO AWAY ill fate! bug someone else!

"It's better to keep your mouth shut and give the impression that you're stupid than to open it and remove all doubt." - Rami Belson

that quote makes better sense. i'm on to something with a better tune than hopeful hopes. this is as far as it gets. resolve, WORK this time 'round, if you please!

it's irksome how i always end up ranting hazy mind speak! i'm not in my best condition, and add to that, jack johnson songs are playing (one of virginal's recommends)! this is great! *grim face* thanks for rubbing it in vaginal! i can hear the bomb steadily tickin' smack in the middle of my shrivelled brain, it's frustrating! my head's gonna blow sooner or later!

if only the jedi council would fill back the hollow caused by the force being cut off from me.. all i can hear now are disturbing echoes (and yes, the ticking). TOINK! it's as if i can't feel the universe. DOUBLE TOINK! to any jedi master who happens to read this knight's desperate plea for help, please give me back my connection and viridian double-bladed lightsaber (darth maul style, ofcourse!) so that i can fully operate as a force-user again. i miss dismembering sith agents! :(

pweh! this isn't getting me anywhere!somebody strike me down with a back-to-your senses hammer! hit me hard enough to get my rationality workin' but not too much to cause brain trauma, ayt?

hahay, me and my wild imaginings..

oh crap! look at the time, chewy and the rest must be waiting for me. i was sent to fetch the latest navicomputer, you see but i just had to make a quick stop in some backwater planet's internet cafe (yes, we still call it that :P). but then again, this has bought me some time to breathe cleaner air compared to that of the ship's gamorreanesque stink. and to think we've gone as far as hyperspace travel yet the rest of the crew can't seem to figure out an air freshener's press-to-spray mechanism. i'll go pick lysol-EX right before we pull the anchor. this is Nacel Zhili, signing out.