Siguro...

dimalas jud ko. Murag naay nakakabit nga sumpa. Tungod ba ni sa akong pagtrato nimo sauna? Dugay najud ta wala nagsturya bha… makamingaw bya pero kabalo ko nga mas maayo rapod ning ing-ani ky unyag makasakit napod ko nimo. Pero kabalo ka… feeling nako nakarma ko tungod sa akong nabuhat nimo. Palpak kaayo ko sa daghang butang. Ambot kung hantud kanus-a ko magdala ani pero anad naman kog hulat so kabalo ko nga mahuman rani. Pero wala tika gibasol ani hah… Unta mubalik lang tong sauna… kung kanus-a simple pa ang tanan na magkanchaway lang ta. Lingaw pa kaayo to bha? Maghuna huna lang ko nimo ky magkatawa nako, mura kog amaw. Hehehehe… matingala gud na akong mga kauban ky mura daw kog buang ky magtisngi lang sa kilid. Wala sila kabalo nga dugay nakong buang. Hahahaha… Wala lang. Gimingaw lang jud ko nimo unya daghan na kaayo kog ganahan isturya nimo… Oh well, kung kelangan nimo ug listening ear or a good laugh I'm always available… that is if naa pakay plano musturya nako... Just remember na basta nimo I'm just around... ayaw lang unta hulata kung kanus-a wala nako... ewan... I miss you and Merry Xmas!

just so i'd remember

i shud've posted this back in january nho? pero better late than never matod pa ni.. ambot kinsay niingon. wahehehe.. so so so..

The year that was 2005
1. during summer, we had our OJT in cebu. fun.
2. boozing, yo-ing like crazy - tried everything. NASTY
3. night-out sessions with ysai at the children's park, city hall, jollibee, el centro, etc. i miss those.
4. saturday nights were reserved for d'zyr - where li used to sing. fan here. :P
5. went out with cousins on several saturdays. pasingot dayun ang tandu. wahahaha..

dates to remember:
Oct 9 - ehem. perfect night. Starry starry night. lol
Oct 14 - sai, elvin and lulu. maghubo unta to si virginal. LOL. dead wasted in BATC
Oct 17 - iced tea sa darrens. ysai and lu. pekchur pekchur
Oct 20 - dance and voice class sa family room nilang lulu with ysai
Oct 21 - naabot si ods ug nabungkag tanan. hahahaha
Oct 22 - darren's with gian, sai, ods and lu. aguy noy!
Oct 24 - arvin, hospicio, ods, lulu and ysai. inom at lulu's unya nagsuka ko sa ilang guest room ug ISAW. Wala pajud nako gilimpyuhan! Bad! nyaha!
Oct 26 - lady's burger nagkanta kanta. A whole new wooooorld~ wahahaha the best!!!!
Oct 31 - lulu's bday sa dzyr! yahoo! Naa pajud cake gibake si sai ani.. awwwwww
skip to December ky secret ang November. wahahaha...
Dec 2 – lingaw ni nga adlaw ky daghan nahitabo namung saldi. wahaha
Dec 9 – middleton ky bday ni aki! hubog na ni!!!
Dec 17 - CSM christmas party with lu and jade. nakit-an si **o**. car broke down at lu's. busa nagjogging ko at 3am! aguy noy! nyaha
Dec 21 - gazpachos with mitzie and lulu.. fine dining kunuhay unya sisig rajud among gikaon!!! hahaha.. lami bitaw. nakiginom dayun si mitz sa BATC
Dec 27 - Grade school reunion sa BATC. lingaw ug update update sa kinabuhi.
Dec 28 - High school reunion at Jay's place. magicsing. inom. sayaw. yebah!city hall after with gian, shek, ods, and saldi
Dec 29 - BATC napod with with mt. basa, ods and pussy p. gisapot mi atong geisha sa i love sushi. nyeh.
Dec 30 - sexy friday! shek, ods, saldi and emily g. eldran pod. daghan ug uwagan. yehey! hahahaha..
Dec 31 - just befor 12mn... city hall with ods and saldi.. awwwww.. kakyut!
Jan 2 - sawi session mi ni saldi. 5 bottles of beer for me, 2 iyaha.. clarity!
Jan 3 - arvin, gian and lu sa BATC. had gianinna drive to arvin's! yey!

after that.. nagcram na dayun sa school.. wahahaha..

================

The year that was (is pa diay.. gamay nalang kulang) 2006… (mag-english napod para serious... hehehe)

A lot has happened this year. I can still remember what I prayed for even before 2006 began; I asked for twelve months of eventfulness, and eventful it was, still is. I experienced the horrors of thesis-work, fearing I wouldn’t graduate but graduate I did. I was off to work that very month, only to quit several months after. I enjoyed my independence as well as feel the loneliness of having been far from my family. I met new people, made friends and even said goodbye to a few. I’ve been to places I’ve only heard/seen on tv and those where I shouldn’t have been. My family moved for the 1^st time in 21 years and yet I still can’t call our new house a home. Who would have thought that I could go quite far in a year, only to fall back at square one? Yes this has been a year of firsts for me. Many unexpected things happened and I'm sure more will come. The fire dog hasn't been good to me but I know that it’s all for the best. I'll just charge it to experience. Now that it's almost over, what does the fire pig have in store for me, for us? Oh well, we can only expect the worst and hope for the best (diba Dorz? :P). Okay, I'm done yammering, now I'm happy. Cheers to all of us! To another year rich with life but more importantly to the affirmation that it is indeed worth living (diba Salds? :D)! Keep praying, keep living! God Bless one and all!

As for my Christmas wish for everyone: I wish you peace but more than this I wish you love! :P Happy Xmas!

question

Cryptic words meander
Now there is a song beneath the song
One day you'll learn
You'll soon discern its true meaning
An interesting detachment
A listless poem of love sincere
Desire, despair
Overlapping melodies

Oh now the roots are reminiscing
Recurring dreams of minor chords
Metred time
Muted chimes find the beat

And in the pulse there lies conviction
A steady push and pull routine
The cymbals swell
High notes flail into reach

And it's not a love, it's not a love
It's not a love, it's not a love song
It's not a love, it's not a love, it's not a love song
It's not a love, it's not a love, it's not a love song

Song Beneath a Song by Maria Taylor

=====

"by the power of the written word to make you hear, to make you feel... before all, to make you see. That — and no more, and it is everything. If I succeed, you shall find there according to your deserts: encouragement, consolation, fear, charm — all you demand — and, perhaps, also that glimpse of truth for which you have forgotten to ask."

~Joseph Conrad's the Nigger of the Narcissus

hohum napod

hohum... im bored. every idle minute's wasted on... silly/foolish thougts. and... i miss you. hahay...

nevermore

i found my way back on that spot

with a brown toad skipping about
through rusty steel fences
to claw up on rocky dirt mounds
its been hours, the orb spider stops
she has woven enough of her masterpiece
all thats left is to lie in wait
for prey to be caught in her trap
a sudden gust of wind flies
and makes its presence known to all
harrassing the greenery about
still the defiant tree stands
for the life of me, i wonder
how far can the toad climb its mountain?
how long will the spider's web hold?
how much can the tree bend before it breaks?
why do they never wail in protest?
their patience is great
but mine has run out
because no stars shone in the moonsea
save for one that fell on me
only to snuff out the last of my light
so for those of you headed this way
know the travails to come
throw yourselves in the midst of danger
but keep one eye open at night

death of her

everyday she used to think about you
even when you didn't fit anywhere in her life
but how could you smile now
now when the answer in her mind has gone stale
for that question you never risked to ask
she's reminded of how you left her cold
when all she wants is to forget
purged and killed your person
torn and ripped you off of her chest
you shouldn't be here
and with your advance, she steels herself
praying to be kept from your illusions
and that when she leaves to take another form
she chooses to be anything in her next life
but an elephant who remembers her dead

:((

this is the lost ending to calvin and hobbes. it's quite sad. poor, poor hobbes... got me thinking though... i wish i had calvin's pills. *sighs*


*i stole this from doo . i couldn't help it. :D she just got to it first coz blahblahblahblah.. wahahaha.. peace doobidoo.

suki de doushiyou mo nai

Doushite onaji you na panchi
Nando mo kuracchaun da

Koi wo shite owari wo tsuge
Chikau koto wa kyou ga saisho no good day

Aki no dorama no saihousou
Sore demo mata tatakaun darou

Sakura sae toki no naka de
Yurete yagate hana wo sakasu yo

O yasumi nasai
Yoi yume o

===

Sayonara! ;P

pahungaw

gisapot ko karon! i am at my wit's end!!! sige nalang kog ka-ipit sa problema!!!!! leche!!!!!!!!!!! dont make the choices i made sound like it was what i really wanted!!!! gikapoy najud ko ani nga style!!! peste!!! palihog ayaw ko i-pressure karun coz i'm still dealing with the unfair judgment you laid down!!!! i want to go away coz i'm so tired of all this drama!!!!!!!!! soooos.. kung sayun lang jud nga magpalayo, dugay rako nilayo!!! pero dili ko escapist kaya pasalamat jud ky taas kog pasensya!!!!! magpa-ugat pa kog maayo ani! i was trying my best to keep my cool pero kelangan jud ko magpahungaw ky napuno najud ko!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ahhhhhhhhhhhhh... kalami ishagit!!! Lord, tabangi ko ky matuluyan najud kog ka-buang ani.. please.

----

The Bottom Line

You're approaching a critical point. Look upon this day like any other.

In Detail

In a business or school environment, you are approaching a critical point ... but you should look upon this day like any other. The worst thing you can do right now is let yourself get intimidated by certain expectations. If you overthink things, you'll lose perspective and could sell yourself short. If you are feeling a bit uncertain, lean on the folks around you who can help cheer you on or cheer you up. Remember that you know exactly what to do and how to do it.

----

tagos bha?! so who's willing to cheer me up? sige na... hahay... tough.

*can you keep a secret?

soon

Take care
I've been hurt before
Too much time spent on closing doors
You may hate me, but I'll remember to love you
Goodbye
Don't cry
You know why
And it'll be just as quiet when I leave
As it was when I first got here
I don't expect anything
I don't expect anything

All the waves of blame arrange as broken scenery
As they steal your best memories away
What if I was someone different in your only history?
Would you feel the same
As I walk out the door
Never to see your face again
Never to see your face again

And it'll be just as quiet when I leave
As it was when I first got here
It'll be just as quiet when I leave
As it was when I first got here
I don't expect anything
I don't expect anything
I don't expect anything
I don't expect anything
I don't expect anything
I don't expect anything to change when I leave

~Rachael Yamagata - Quiet
===

yes, very soon...

virgohoro 9/29/06

The Bottom Line

Pick up your feet and get moving toward what you want right now. Just get up and go!

In Detail

If you're waiting for someone to give you their approval to move forward with your plans, you're wasting your time. You don't need any approval from anyone to do what you want to do today ... could you be looking for an excuse to put things off a little longer? Silly you -- don't you know that procrastination is out of style? Pick up your feet and get moving toward what you want right now, because there's no reason for any hesitation. Just get up and go!

====

really now? i'm stuck in a rut and i just cant get out of it... elvin is a prisoner and freedom is past tense.

meet me

to those who are awfully concerned,

i've been home for almost a month and i really miss the past four months i spent elsewhere. hahay... i would've stayed longer if it weren't for my fruitless exploits. still, i had a blast! thanks to the people i've met and chilled with. nyehehehe...

i miss my blue mansion buddies and their trademark lines:
Bababe - 'bakit ang nacua, magaling sa sex?' bwahahahahaha.. leche ka mel! mingaw nako nimong manyaka ka! bleh! hanggang lips ka lang. lol
KR - 'spell raden... KR!' maski NR (No Response) ni.. ambot nalang jud. asa man tawon ang mama ug papa aning bata?
Squaredy - 'put your ai squared in, put your ai squared out...' balik balik imong luto namo hah! sumo na kaayo ang monggos.. pero oks lang basta ba't musayaw ug Like A Virgin.
Ate Che - *yosi exhalation technique* hahahahaha.. da best. we love ate cheeee...
Lioness - 'wan, to, tre!' champion ni mahubog! and champion sa PDA with Huge.

my cassandras:
Iceland - 'cass, wag ang pekpek ko! ahhhh... rapist!' wala na akong ma-harrass.. dont worry at babanatan kita if and when i get back. hehehe
Langai - 'cass, naay ok-ok!' peste.. hahahaha.. mao ni ang bad influence nako. bleh! di unta niya ni mabasa. :D masbug-at pa raba imong gipadala nga pasalubong kesa sa akong bagahe hah!
Aki - 'huy cass! kahadlok bha! dad-on na tika sa mandaluyong loob bhe!' hahay.. ug naghilak-hilak ni ron ky gimingaw nako.. lol. joke. huy, ingna si baby katong gibilin nako niya ky dapat niya ampingan!

i miss my officemates (PS friends) as well.. nica, rocelle, jeffrey, lurshlee, teeets, airlan, etc.. and lan i still havent returned your ps2 game. shet. just think of that as a parting gift coz i dont think i can work on my clearance anytime soon. nic, just hang in there! you'll do great! :D hehehe.. i miss my solo lunchbreaks mostly spent in kfc, tokyo tokyo, mcdo or sa jolijip. ahhhh.. turbo treats honey mustard and szechuan rice bowl meal!! and yes, i miss my kras. aaaah.. smoking balcony i mishu too. ahahahaha.. :P

gawd, i'll be missing jom, mikki, lu, amping and our nightouts. those were very fun times however rare. avilon zoo/wawa dam was a blast! like i always say "ITS THE JOURNEY, NOT THE DESTINATION." lol! and lu... i'd never forget our coffee sessions in starbs, sbc, figaro and ofcourse CBTL. those precious times wouldn't be the same without em trademark umbrellas! haaaay.. we used to adjourn our sessions round 2am despite the fact that we have work several hours later. twas the life! hohum.. :D and and and.. i told you i'd find the ant.. it just took one mass (which i missed a whole lot btw) for it to happen. i told ya so! hahaha..

cassandras, remember how we used to go out at 10pm almost every night and ride off from one end of the metro to another? ahhh.. i miss that. we've went to all the party places/tambayans worth going to. chillax on weekdays and wasted on weekends. perfect! :D plus, we always went to SM North on sundays for church and meet up with baby after. the days.. tell him he shud treat me to mr. kabab when i get the chance to visit. ahhhh.. t5 sa pioneer grill and then washing/videosingko sa rj's bulalohan! what about our bus/mrt rush hour adventures?! huhuhuhuhu...

and i'll be missing those people who i know would make uber great friends if i had more to time to get to know them better. awww.. for those i failed to meet, treated me out, got to know in random places, etc. i will make it up to you guys SOMEHOW. but while i ain't around, just a word of advice: CHILLAX. :D

basta... i miss a lot of things, places, people, animals, events... all nouns. there's so much to write about and i'll simply run out of space if i'll blabber on.

hohum.. after all that im back to square one at twenty one (uy rhyme! hehehe). yet again, i'm off to find a new job or most probably go back to school. blech. just when i thought i'd find myself there and live a meaningful life, you know? i guess i havent.. and the search is still on. but would i even like me if i met me? wehh..

hahay... things will be better, i know. take it from the champion of hoping be it false or true or tralse. i'm no longer making sense, am i?

oh well.. i just wanna be happy, take it from where i can get it and keep it for as long as i can.

CHILL!

sincerely yours,
me

P.S.
happiness, where do you go when you're gone? i miss you!

this is her story

She feels like crying to attain some sense of justice but all she could ever muster was a heavy heart with a fainting beat. She wonders if he matters enough, enough for tears to spill from her welling eyes. When she looks at him, who she sees makes her tomorrows but when he looks at her, all he ever finds is a friend. And after a long time of staring into space, she throws me a question, ‘when will I ever weep for that which never existed from the start?’

I fall silent.

He only wants her the way he wants her. He is the sea and like sand on the shore, she wants to be a part of him, completely. Pushed away and pulled back again, she rises up, breaks and falls, forever…

'I love him, ardently,' she says. I felt that word, once. I know this story all too well.

And as if on cue the moonless sky mimics what our hearts seek to hide. 'Its raining. There goes your answer,' I finally reply.

I sip my coffee, hoping to achieve a moment's peace in a cup. All is still.

'What shall happen tonight?'

thousandth hahay

The sun isn't as magnificent as it used to when you were still around. I want to tell you that but I don't know if I should...

Gawd. I miss you. Badly.

a halloween story

You are a spirit that sprung out of a chance encounter. It’s curious how I’m the only one to see you when we both float in circumstances shared by many others. That’s why all I could make out are pieces that never fall into place. But what I do know is this; we are the same you and I, ghosts, bound to empty husks forever playing out an unfinished score, a song carrying a hollow tune that never reaches past the twisted note seated next to finality. Yet somehow, very much like an echo that can’t be ignored, yours overpowered mine and it pierced through the anonymity that we anxiously protect. And now that is all that resounds in the haunting where I subsist.

It saddens me to see your beautiful form in unrest, drowned in violent waves that incessantly crash against an unmoving cliff. Yes, I tried to pull you out of your desolation but when I did, a blink was all it took for my hand to easily fly through yours. I knew what was coming for we are numb creatures who would rather spin a broken record than yield to the mended piece. But if your absolution is my song’s meaning then I'll find a way...

I have fallen mute to the world but it matters not because no man will ever find reason why a ghost means to touch a ghost.

Clock

Timer stops now.

No.

But why?

Maybe because you’re the only one around…

I want to treat you differently but you don’t plan on having that realized, do you?

Let’s play it by ear.

I guess you’re too confident to admit anything, knowing that I’ve been waiting on you. Aren’t you tired because I’m getting there fast?

Ambiguity is fine with me.

It once was. You keep me guessing. That’s all you could ever give me... I wish I knew your face so that you’ll no longer be a stranger to me. But I will have to settle with this, don’t I?

I don’t know.

Stars fall, you know and I’m hanging on for yours... Oh well, if not in this lifetime there’s always the next. Won’t you say goodbye and get this over with?

You’re funny.

And you once said that you’re amused with making some people bleed. Am I on that same list because if I am, I’m an ounce close to drying out?

*sighs*

It’ll be a year in three months. Why don’t you make those hands tick faster so that I’ll get there sooner?

…

Please rid me of this illusion, so I wouldn’t have to ask questions you’d never answer.

what's your wish?

i wish i never cared so that I wouldn't be dying everyday. mao lang na. bow. thank you.

take a hint

Doh! Sumo sa tanang sumo! You always end up messing your life and you run to me, asking for whatever comfort you can get. But no matter how many times we talk, nothing I say ever gets through to you. For countless times, I’ve sincerely offered you my counsel, you say you’ll try and then the next thing I know we’re back to zero.

I am sick, sick of you for piling up one problem after another and having me hear it over and over again. I’ve been your scapegoat for so long. Yes, I understand that I’m the only person you can really talk to but whatever-we’re-in right now, it’s not helping the both of us. You’re not learning and at the same time the weight of whatever-we-have isn’t getting me anywhere. It was fun but I can’t be just the shrink forever. I have problems too, you know, and I plan on resolving them. And the first on my list, is YOU.

You should know that I hate goodbyes but with you it’s not as difficult as I expected it to be. I had fun last night. Why? Because I never got to think about you, worry about you, talk about you. Not having you around in every waking minute of my day might make my life better.
But you should know that while writing this I felt my conscience throwing boulders at me. Don’t ever think that you didn’t matter because you DID. Well, maybe you still do for just a tiny bit. Aftershocks I guess. I’ve spent so many months with you and that’s enough to have me pick a handful of wonderful moments to bring with me. The times we shared were beautiful but I want something that’s consistent, clear, tangible… something deeper. A validation of all of those things you never gave me, things you could never give. I know it’s selfish, I know it may be unfair on your part because you’ve never done anything harsh but there’s always a time when one needs to move out of unproductive relationships. As for me, that time is now.

Sayonara. Ciao. Au Revoir. Adios. Goodbye.

It should’ve just been you I bid farewell to and not... someone else. Hahay. It’s bothersome having to start over again but I’ll find someone who’ll show me why it never worked between you and me.

Time will reveal.

sorta goodbye

Yes, i am the wind,
flying past one desert to another.
and you are the Bedouin, burnt dry,
yet too proud to wash yourself with me

I would have been the one carrying the rain,
water that would quell your long drought.
But never given that chance,
I am spent.

I will run past dunes and sandstorms, again,
when i would've wanted to stay a bit longer.
Still, I am content at that one shot
of having been able to cool your parched soul.

I have lingered enough in your oasis
and so with flight i will find closure.
And though the relief i could’ve given is rare,
those days are gone.


***

its funny how you spurred me to draw near although the nearest i could get was still too far to see your face yet close enough to see your chains. i would've unchained you if you wanted me to but you didn't. i guess i'll never be the boy who'll set you free. now, i'm so far from home but i haven't gone anywhere.

=====

this post is long overdue. i am happy (?)

sanamanipud

it seems that the only option i have right now is to wait for that star with your name to fall. please make this easier for me.

ouch indeed.

magbisaya ko kay gikapoy nakog sigeg english. walay magbuot. dugo sa ilong ang maabtan sa mupalag. so... gimingaw nako sa akong superfriends. wala mo kabalo sa kamingaw nga akong gibati ky wala mo diri. pasensya na kung sauna murag gisayun sayun ra nako ang atong pag-uban pero karon rajud nidulot ang akong paghinangup ninyo. hahay... ambot lang. wala man gud koy makasturya diri. unya ug naa man gani, binuang ra halos ang sturya. kanang naay oras para sa pagpakatawa pero naa pod higayun nga dapat sineryoso ang sturya, diba?
ambot nganu napadpad ko aning lugara oi. mao man pod ni akong gusto, para ma-independent. wala ko nagdahum nga akong gipangita ky bahin ra sa pagpanginabuhi, kundili apil pod diay sa uban butang... hahay. naa unta mo diri mga superfriends para naa koi mapagawsan sa akong gibati. it's really lonely not having you guys around especially when i'm at my weakest.
i know that 2006 should be our year but we're already half way through and nothing seems to be going right. i hope we can make it up for what's left of this year. cheers to us!
as for you, gikapoy nakog dula.. kanus-a paman ka makabati nga.. ahhhh, wala. i'll just leave it as it is then. di man gud pod ko kabalo unsaon pagsturya nimo. mapalaw pa lang ko. swerte kaayo ka. hahay.
trabaho nako.

thought cloud

don't you notice how im beginning to retrace my steps?
sad, isn't it?
that you're gone and i'm walking back.

a-okay

okay, updates? well i had a weird dream again. the kind that you shouldn't feel good about but hits you in all the right places, ya know? oh well, it was just a stupid scenario my unconscious self conured anyway but still... hahay.

as for my decision to work elsewhere.. erm.. it's been good. the first few weeks was torture though. but everthings been going smoothly since i found a new place (aircon=heaven). hehehehe.. and ill be getting my first pay this friday! yey..

life's okay. work's okay.

i smile and laugh often especially since my new friends call me tanga (or anything synonymous to that) due to my clumsiness/forgetfullness/carelessness and what have you.

everything's OKAY, really.

but im not happy.

ugly.

virgohoro 5/5/06

The Bottom Line
You're extremely capable of seeing what needs to be done and making progress today!

In Detail
Your emotional vision is a perfect 20-20 today -- you will finally see things in a clear, honest way. With little mystery left, the choice will be clear for you. Saying goodbye is surprisingly easy today when you know that this fork in the road holds two very rewarding (yet opposite) plans for each of you. You now see that staying on the same path is a mistake for one of you. You're entering a strong selfless phase that will keep your heart warm even when you're missing people you love.
====
is this really is it? wehehehehehehe.. i don't have much to say so there. :D

Why God made Mums - BRILLIANT

Answers given by 2nd grade school children to the following questions !!!

Why did God make mothers?
1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.

How did God make mothers?
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
3. God made my Mum just the same like he made me. He Just used
bigger parts.

What ingredients are mothers made of?
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything
nice in the world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly
use string, I think.

Why did God give you Your mother & not some other mum?
1.We're related.
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's mums like
me.

What kind of little girl was your mum?
1. My mum has always been my mum and none of that other stuff.
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be
pretty bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.

What did mum need to know about dad before she married him?
1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get
drunk on beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and
YES to chores?

Why did your mum marry your dad?
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mum eats a
lot.
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My grandma says that Mum didn't have her thinking cap on.

Who's the boss at your house?
1. Mum doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a
goof ball.
2. Mum. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under
the bed.
3. I guess Mum is, but only because she has a lot more
to do than dad.

What's the difference between mums & dads?
1. Mums work at work and work at home & dads just go to work at
work.
2. Mums know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3. Dads are taller & stronger, but mums have all the real power
'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your
friend's.

4. Mums have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.
What does your mum do in her spare time?
1. Mothers don't do spare time.
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.

What would it take to make your mum perfect?
1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind
of plastic surgery.
2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.

If you could change one thing about your Mum, what would it be?
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get
rid of that.
2. I'd make my Mum smarter. Then she would know it was my sister
who did it and not me.
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the
back of her head.
========
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawwww... mishu ma!

letter read

Time passes by while I wait for your call
Time passes by; I hear nothing at all

And I'm afraid, and I can't breathe,
And I'm in love with you
But you are not with me
And I have put so much into a life
I made too much about you now to lie

-Rachael Yamagata

===

SHIT! this again! GO AWAY ill fate! bug someone else!

"It's better to keep your mouth shut and give the impression that you're stupid than to open it and remove all doubt." - Rami Belson

that quote makes better sense. i'm on to something with a better tune than hopeful hopes. this is as far as it gets. resolve, WORK this time 'round, if you please!

it's irksome how i always end up ranting hazy mind speak! i'm not in my best condition, and add to that, jack johnson songs are playing (one of virginal's recommends)! this is great! *grim face* thanks for rubbing it in vaginal! i can hear the bomb steadily tickin' smack in the middle of my shrivelled brain, it's frustrating! my head's gonna blow sooner or later!

if only the jedi council would fill back the hollow caused by the force being cut off from me.. all i can hear now are disturbing echoes (and yes, the ticking). TOINK! it's as if i can't feel the universe. DOUBLE TOINK! to any jedi master who happens to read this knight's desperate plea for help, please give me back my connection and viridian double-bladed lightsaber (darth maul style, ofcourse!) so that i can fully operate as a force-user again. i miss dismembering sith agents! :(

pweh! this isn't getting me anywhere!somebody strike me down with a back-to-your senses hammer! hit me hard enough to get my rationality workin' but not too much to cause brain trauma, ayt?

hahay, me and my wild imaginings..

oh crap! look at the time, chewy and the rest must be waiting for me. i was sent to fetch the latest navicomputer, you see but i just had to make a quick stop in some backwater planet's internet cafe (yes, we still call it that :P). but then again, this has bought me some time to breathe cleaner air compared to that of the ship's gamorreanesque stink. and to think we've gone as far as hyperspace travel yet the rest of the crew can't seem to figure out an air freshener's press-to-spray mechanism. i'll go pick lysol-EX right before we pull the anchor. this is Nacel Zhili, signing out.

take a bow

Make them laugh, it comes so easy
When you get to the part
Where you're breaking my heart
Hide behind your smile
All the world loves a clown
Wish you well, I cannot stay
You deserve an award
For the role that you played
No more masquerade
You're one lonely star

-madonna
=====

thanks ods for singing this song. i had a great time at the karaoke with no one unfortunate enough to listen to my singing(?). was it? it sounded more like screaming with a tinge of country/punk/rock to it. hehehe.. you let out caged thoughts into the light, squirming.

this is just nuthr one of those nights. it will pass. spare me. :D

a scratch is enough

konbanwa! look who's back.. i am! not that i'm expecting fireworks to greet my return (it wudv been nice tho) but don'tcha miss me? yes, i'm talking to you! since you're the only one who ever bothers to peruse through this page. so i'm back. what now? uhm you see, i've been kinda busy trying to make something out of the weekend. whether it interests you or not, i'll still tell no matter how pointless. let's begin. i went to the mall and watched three movies in one day.
- ice age 2 was crazy! my favourite part was when sid was crowned as the mini sloths' fire king and they did this impressive tribal number, only to be made a sacrificial offering. it was also good to see more of manfred's soft side even though he maintained being the unapologetic mammoth that he was. it was a fun movie all in all and if you took it in, you'll learn something very important: mammoths can confuse themselves for something else (possums for that matter). i'm not sure if humans have the same luxury. hahaha...

- next up was ultraviolet. i found it having relied on special effects too much, if only to compensate for milla jovovich's detached portrayal of violet. the only moment worth mentioning was the dialogue between v and garth, which went like this, g: "why won't you let anyone in?" v: "as beautiful as those moments are, they're evil when they're gone." i agree with her on that, indeed it is an evil thing - traitorous. but now that i'm past that, let me give my final verdict on the film. the movie's overall presentation was "stylish" and it can't get any deeper than that.
- finally, i trodded on to the third cinema showing the date movie, which turned out to be a lousy teen-movie spoof of previous romantic-comedies. if it weren't for alyson hannigan, i wouldn't have bothered. sheeesh... i miss willow! she's better off playing the ruthless lesbo witch in buffy the vampire slayer coz i just can't see her not throwing black balls of mystic energy. plus, she had the best looking evil eyes ever. BLACK!
after binging on movies, i bought a new murakami novel, south of the border, west of the sun. i have a new book to while away my time with! yahoo!
other than those i mentioned, i also went out with cousins back from manila and cebu. B's back with her stories and her beach-outing plans. and Lai, will find a place for us back in boni! YEY! i pray everything will work out! please Lord! :)
"You may feel inspired by some surprising revelations today. Keep travel in mind." i'll put that in mind dear horo. but what's inspiration without a huge dose of active integration, ryt? that wasn't supposed to rhyme.. errr.. i can't wait till after holy week. it will be better. i just know it. here's my stop. sayonara!

wapak!

i feel sorry for superheroes, especially when they hafta put others first before themselves. why do they have to be burdened with that responsibility? its not like they chose to be born that way! can't people at least be thankful that they use their powers for good and not think of it as a mass privilege. others say that's what they have to deal with because that's what they're supposed to do - their purpose. but when will they ever have the time to do what they want and not do what others want them to? yes, superheroes save the day (everyday) but hey.. give em some slack. i don't know about you, but they deserve a day off since i'm sure, that in the back of their minds, they're itching to have some r&r. vacation, anyone? what's a day or two to take matters in our own hands AND not dial the superheroes-do-it-for-ya hotline, ryt?

i know it's a bit off topic but i was watching naruto (ninjas this time. hehe..) and i remembered an early episode when sasuke was unconscious (he looked like a human pin cushion after battling with haku) and sakura was trying mighty hard to hold back her tears (but ofcourse being the sissy that she is, she cried eventually). why'd she push herself not to cry you ask? you see, it's in their handbook - rule number 25 states that the mission comes first, being attached/giving in to emotions is a no no. this is a fairly important guideline for em maybe because it enables them to think rationally/unclouded. right, right! it's the most logical option but hey, one can't have the mind rule all of the time. honestly, no human can live up to that credo... i know i can't! why is it that some people allow themselves to be dictated by the "mission?"

i'm not getting anywhere, am i? those are the only analogies i could ever think of. garsh, i suck. hehehe... the fact of the matter is, i'm no superhero/ninja and yet i sure feel like i have a lot on my already aching shoulders. i may not be as passionate as superheroes or as zealous as ninjas, but hey, i do have superheroic/ninjaesque tendencies. God, help! i can't be this semi-mindless robot forever. i need a break, a KITKAT (i'll have them make a mega-sized variant that'll take a full year to gobble up)! if not then i'll have my kunai at the ready and it just might go flying your way, or would you rather have kinetically charged cards at you? choose your pick. pfffft... i would give anything just to fly right now. wait, im not that desperate yet. anything. something, maybe.

before all of this dawned on me i was uploading a few songs for my bolt account. you might find something attuned to your tastes (but i'm not counting on it) so check it out if you must.

o-yasumi nasai! ohayou! whatever.

Back then

"Oo"

Di mo lang alam, naiisip kita
Baka sakali lang maisip mo ako
Di mo lang alam, hanggang sa gabi
Inaasam makita kang muli
Nagtapos ang lahat sa di inaasahang
Panahon at ngayon ako'y iyong iniwang
Luhaang sugatan't di-mapakinabangan
Sana nagtanong ka lang kung di mo lang alam
Sana'y nagtanong ka lang kung di mo lang alam
Ako'y iyong nasaktan
Baka sakali lang maisip mo namang
Hindi mo lang alam kay tagal nang panahon
Ako'y nandirito parin hanggang ngayon, para sayo
Lumipas mga araw na ubod ng saya
Di parin nagbabago ang aking pagsinta
Kung ako'y nagkasala, patawad na sana
Ang puso kong pagal ngayon lang nagmahal
Di mo lang alam ako'y iyong nasaktan
Baka sakali lang maisip mo namang
Puro siya nalang sana'y ako naman
Di mo lang alam ika'y minamasdan
Sana'y iyong mamalayang hindi mo lang pala alam
Di mo lang alam, kahit tayo'y magkaibigan lang
Bumabalik lahat sa tuwing nag kukulitan
Baka sakali lang, maisip mo namang
Ako'y nandito lang, hindi mo lang alam
Matalino ka naman
Kung ikaw, at ako ay tunay na bigo
Sa laro na ito, ay dapat bang sumuko
Sana'y di ka nalang pala aking nakilala
Kung alam ko lang ako'y yong masasaktan ng ganito
Sana'y nakinig nalang ako sa nanay ko
Di mo lang alam ako'y iyong nasaktan
Baka sakali lang maisip mo namang
Puro siya nalang o, sana'y ako naman
Di mo lang alam ika'y minamasdan
Sana'y iyong mamalayang hindi mo lang pala alam...
Malas mo.. Ikaw ang natipuhan ko
Di mo lang alam ako'y iyong nasaktan

=====

Lucky you, I never squealed. Don't fret. My sentiments are of the past tense. Even without your knowing, thank you for making it easier for me.

And on a lighter note, Final Fantasy 12 was just released in Japan! aaaaaaaah... I can't wait for the American release. 'Em pirates better be quick.

I no longer feel like a moth to sad songs. Congratulate me. :D

warning

i had another one of my quirky dream episodes last night. then, somebody was dancing ecstatically (with arms flailing about) on a dismal stage while taunting me to dance. i dont want to point out the strange details but it was darn funny in an immensely unexpected way. can it get any weirder? i must be close to breaking my sane-insane limit huh? sound the alarm!

i dont think so...

Elvin, your true color is Blue!


You're blue — the most soothing shade of the spectrum. The color of a clear summer sky or a deep, reflective ocean, blue has traditionally symbolized trust, solitude, and loyalty. Most likely a thoughtful person who values spending some time on your own, you'd rather connect deeply with a few people than have a bunch of slight acquaintances. Luckily, making close friends isn't that hard, since people are naturally attracted to you — they're soothed by your calming presence. Cool and collected, you rarely overreact. Instead, you think things through before coming to a decision. That level-headed, thoughtful approach to life is patently blue — and patently you!
What's Your True Color?
=====

say what? this can't be me, can it?

Luckily, making close friends isn't that hard, since people are naturally attracted to you — they're soothed by your calming presence. - what the fart!? dont make me laugh.

other than that, there's a tad bit of truth with the result (all good points ofcourse. hehe) but i would've wanted it to be black coz it plays well with my "gothic" ensemble. tough! nyaha! just messin' with ya. :P

a song for the sigurist

Crazy as it all plays out
I think I'm lonelier than I've ever been before
'Cause I was so close
To going through that door
But I don't want to be to blame for them
I don't want to be to blame

Oh, would you please get out from under my skin?
'Cause I can't begin this yet
And I don't know what my intentions are
They're speaking in a different tongue
And, deep inside, I'm not as tough as I seem
But I won't let you know
Until it's right, I'm gonna stay my distance, and you should go
Oh, would you please get out
I'm not as strong as I seem, but I won't let you know
====

Under My Skin by Rachael Yamagata

...and i couldn't have said it any better.

this time: i pray i'll have it easy. please?

because i dont want to bore you with my usual banter, because i dont want words to limit what my mind speaks, and simply because i'm just tired of talking, that's all there is to it. really.

tawa ta na? *chokes out a laugh* it's not working.

hahahahaY.

reunited

i got myself wasted AGAIN after months of self-restraint. it was hilarious. just the master and myself. it's amazing how we managed to find ourselves home inspite of the heavy intoxication. once there, i immediately fell on our couch, not forgetting to puke and murmur every once in a while. i slept downstairs and woke up with an instant greeting from my visiting aunt who sat opposite from where i dozed on.

aunt: "nganu diri man ka natulog langga?"
*still too tired to answer*
ate: "nabilar na sya sa thesis"
aunt: "kaluoy pod tawon"
ate: "ana man na siya pag naay project"
*ana gud tawon!*

good thing ate got me covered. i had dried-up patches of puke-stuff on my cheeks. my breath stank (still does, actually). leche! and my head hurts everytime i sit up. heads.. darnit!

r1: "nganu naghubog man ka? abi ko nagbuhat ka sa imong thesis"
me: "humana naman gud"
r1: "ayaw na ni usba elvin hah."
me: "lagi... sakit kaayo akong ulo"
r1: "da! kabalo man diay ka nga mao nang mahitabo nimo unya gibuhat jud"
me: "lagi... dili na lagi ko muusab. dili najud ko muinom."
*yeah ryt! hehehehe...*

;-P

plans

The best gift anyone can give me this new year is a planner. I like planners because I am a planner. I like thinking ahead. I like being prepared. I get a high from being on top of things. But some things are beyond planning. And life doesn't always turn out as planned.

You don't plan for a broken heart.
You don't plan for a failed business venture.
You don't plan for an adulterous husband.
Or a wife who wants you out of her life.
You don't plan for an autistic child.
You don't plan for spinsterhood.
You don't plan for a lump in your breast.

You plan to be young forever.
You plan to climb the corporate ladder.
You plan to be rich and powerful.
You plan to be acclaimed and successful.
You plan to conquer the universe.
You plan to fall in love - and be loved forever.

You don't plan to be sad.
You don't plan to be hurt.
You don't plan to be broke.
You don't plan to be betrayed.
You don't plan to be alone in this world.

You plan to be happy.
You don't plan to be shattered.

Sometimes if you work hard enough, you can get what you want. But most times, what you want and what you get are two different things.

We, mortals, plan. But so does God in the heavens. Sometimes, it is difficult to understand God's plans - especially when His plans are not in consonance with ours. Often, when God sends us crisis, we turn to Him in anger. True, we cannot choose the cross that God wishes us to carry, but we can carry that cross with courage knowing that God will never abandon us nor send something we cannot cope with.

Sometimes, God breaks our spirit to save our soul.
Sometimes, He breaks our heart to make us whole.
Sometimes, God sends us pain so we can be stronger.
Sometimes, God sends us failure so we can be humble.
Sometimes, God sends us illness so we can take better care of ourselves.
Sometimes, God takes everything away from us so we can learn the value of everything He gave us.

Make plans but understand that we live by God's grace.
====
im not much of a planner, really. but somehow, this here hits home.

i will graduate. arrrr.. and when that time comes, watch out world. nyah!

i pray.

yada yada

"i'm too forgiving for my own good. darnit! she's right you know... i mustn't let anyone come to me when they need a good kick. im supposed to be the vampireboy. THE vampireboy. i'm the one who bites and not the other way around. i really should relive my title before i completely fail my rights to passage. ack! by dusk tomorrow i'll refurbish my mausoleum and dig out my old ensemble. i'm tired of playing the happy hour boy. halloween's over.

BUT i think i've said this before. darnit. i've been on replay ever since i learned to be UNapathetic. when will i ever learn? when will i ever learn? when will i ever learn? i'm a broken record.

'sometimes people put up walls to see who cares enough to knock them down.' but that isn't the case right now and it shouldn't have been back then, or so i would like to believe. the sound your hammers and power drills make as it bangs against my brick wall is way too deafening. my ears bleed.

please, make this easier for me. disappear if you must. hush. stop. i hope you get it right this time. you who? well your guess is as good as mine.

friends, thanks for your time. really."

elvin's bitching about imaginary assailants again. he's back! oh crap! take him to the crazy house already.

crummier. virgohoro 02-26-06

i anticipated this. it has come.

when temporary highs are no longer enough to keep me aloft.

i need something that spells ever after.

the kind that wont take to the air by dawn.

one that will keep me flying for the hours after and the hours in between.

what else is there?
==

The Bottom Line

When in doubt, go for romance today. Invest some energy on your heart and soul.

In Detail

Being brazen has its advantages. First of all, it's extremely appealing to prospective suitors and an absolute magnet for friends. It's fire, and whether it's in a fireplace or in a person's attitude doesn't matter. That famously hypnotic quality is still there. Someone who wants to woo you, for a variety of reasons, will show you more than a little bit of fire right now, and you'll find it quite appealing. Play the game, though. Don't let on just yet.
==
why do i even bother?

no brain, no pain.

or should i just bury this with the rest of the trash i horde? how long can i keep at it? up until the bent spoon breaks through my skin?

God, i'm running out of stars to pin my wishes. but thank you for letting them out to play with my dragon's breath

seeds

"Thoughts lead on to purposes

Purposes go forth in action

Actions form habits

Habits decide character

And character fixes our destiny."

~The quote i chose for my HS yearbook 4 years ago. I pray that i get to do the same this March.

what kind of soul are you?

You Are a Dreaming Soul
Your vivid emotions and imagination takes you away from this world. So much so that you tend to live in your head most of the time. You have great dreams and ambitions that could be the envy of all... But for you, following through with your dreams is a bit difficult.

You are charming, endearing, and people tend to love you. Forgiving and tolerant, you see the world through rose colored glasses. Underneath it all, you have a ton of passion that you hide from others. Always hopeful, you tend to expect positive outcomes in your life.
http://blogthings.com/whatkindofsoulareyouquiz/

~tough.

"God will never leave you EMPTY,
He will replace everything you've LOST.
If He asks you to put something DOWN,
it's because He wants you to PICK-UP something GREATER."

~yeba!

flow

I'm always swimming against the flow of the tide.

Kissing the life into something thats already died.

I've been drowning forever.

I'll let go.

I'll dive into the river and flow.

a test of faith

i've been cramming and stressing for a week, and nothing paid off. the only thing i had going for me were prayers. just when i thought it was all hopeless, something incredible just happened. YES!

i'm off the danger zone but there's still a lot of work to be done. a little more and i'll be home free. :D

God never turns to give us a deaf ear. Have faith and He'll work his miracles! I know, because i just got one. Lord, thank you!

------

The Bottom Line

You can't help someone who doesn't want it. You must wait until they're ready.

In Detail

You've been extremely busy lately -- and busy, by your standards, is hectic, frenetic and unbearably stressful to most of the rest of us. However, you've just realized that it's just about the weekend and you're coming into some free time. Get busy, then -- in a different way -- and use this time to your advantage. Call every playmate you know you should have called weeks ago, make plans and resolve that there will be absolutely no work. None whatsoever.
===
funny horoscope.. IF ONLY i could have it easy this weekend. darn it. ABSOLUTELY NO WORK my ARSE! pfffft...

why do people think that?

i went out drinking last night - all by myself. with a book and cig in hand, i attacked the local "tambayan" with a strong determination to accomplish my goal...

the mission: read sputnik sweetheart up until i'm too dizzy to even bother comprehending a single line.

with three bottles of beer down in less than 45 minutes i can't say that i got drunk, just a bit lightheaded. i planned on getting a fourth order but not even the cig helped me from my distaste of beer. hehe... so i simply went on reading and managed to cover a good 40-50 pages of the murakami novel. every now and then people came up to me and invited me to their table AND like always, i declined. i've gotten used to that scenario, that's why i never go on solo adventures without my "i'm fine being solitary" line at the ready "it's alright. i'll be leaving in a few minutes anyway. thanks" can't they see that being alone doesn't necessarily equate with loneliness? i'm perfectly fine being the only person on a bench, or a table for that matter. i appreciate the "concern" but it's all good, REALLY! maybe next time i should wear a (do not disturb) sign huh?

it was an uneventful night. mission failed, i guess... not to mention i almost hit a motorcycle. ehe.

she said

i hate you for always being there. for picking me up for our yo-sessions almost every night. i hate you for making me nice testimonials and for making my friendster profile pretty. i hate you for picking me up at 12 midnight to see mars and for sitting right next to me in the park. i hate you for being so understanding of my eccentricities. and for not misjudging the way i act and the things i say. i hate your for laughing with me, shouting with me and consoling me whenever i'm worried or sad. i hate you for being so good at dancing and for being so game in everything. i hate you so, so, so much for being a friends and i sometimes hate myself for loving the things you do and the things you say. as our old line goes, "i hate loving you!" i hate you for being my fan at dzyr's... ahem... i hate you for not coming home to say goodbye. i so, so, so hate you nax. i hate you and karla for making me cry. i hate you for making me hate leaving... but then again, i have to. i hate you for not giving my cd's back. i hope you make that a reason to visit me in cebu. oh yeah, i hate you for making me drink beer. i hate beer! i hate you and i don't ever want to thank you for everything. you've made me so sad for not spending my last day in ili with me. i hate you and i hope you won't take care of yourself even if i wanted you to coz i care. i hate you slutboy! pervert! i hate you coz i'm pretty sure that i won't ever find another one like you in cbu. you won't find another on like me either! serves you right! i hate you slutboy!! i abhor you! i hope you'll show your ass in cebu one of these days so i could pinch it real hard. you deserve that punishment! i hate you, i hate you, i hate you!

=======

sheeeesh, she sure does hate me. oh well, i guess i hate her too. hehehe...

pug

"What can i do

to find myself

a new chew toy?

Whisper it to me,

please.

I'll do whatever it takes

to fill the empty box

you pulled it out of."

With head hung low,

and a sad face on,

Freud whimpered.

He always looks the same so nobody really knows what he wants.

I feel for you doggy.

I really do.

Hahay...

Soon.

no-frills

Friday - rhede and cousins

* First time in days that I went on a night out. To start off, Pulah treated me to dinner at Zoey's. It was very startling - I can't even remember the last time she offered to do that! But who would ever pass up a free meal right? I don't know bout you but I sure won't. Hehehehe... but really it came with good reason - it was her birthday on the 23rd and Friday’s the only feasible date to celebrate it with me. So i ordered garden salad while she went with seafood noodles and blueberry cheesecake, with my recommendation of course. even though we were quite full, she ordered fish and fries after our initial feast just for the heck of it... and maybe with a "bit" of prodding on my part. *evil grin* a live acoustic band was playing so we lounged a bit and cracked silly jokes until we found ourselves wanting to move out due to the constant flow of mushy songs. We landed on the hill where we caught up on our life stories and took pictures to show to our "other" friend. It would've gone longer but she had her curfew and i had an intense need to use a portalet or whatever. Hahay... I dropped her home and I sped to my aunt's place to use their CR.
* Later that night, I watched a band competition with my cousins till 12mn. My three other cousins, Tot, King, and Kating were playing with their respective bands. They rocked the place with powerful and upbeat tunes. Cheers to my talented cousins! Next to them, my inability to excel in music is greatly magnified. Leche! :D The night was culminated in a bar with lots of people ready for some action. hehehe... but we're all good boys and girls so nothing horrifyingly obscene happened in our circle. We didn't even order any alcoholic drinks! Yahoo!
* Went home and slept at 5am.

Saturday - 3 bottles of tandu Jr.

* I didn’t get much sleep because my ate woke me up around 10am, which only meant 5 hours of sleep. We usually go to Cagayan de Oro during weekends - this was one of those days. When we got to Ketkai, I rushed to check up on the new RPG games available - I ended up buying Wild ARMs 4. geeeeez... out of all the RPGs I ever bought, the only ones I've finished are those of the final fantasy series. There are loads of other games I have yet to finish and this latest addition is bound to be another one of those. Hehe... also, I had Lu's gift refilled. Yey! But I think the saleslady broke it. Boo! With nothing much to do, I watched Zathura, one of those movies worth getting slept at - and I did, for a good 15 minutes.
* Tried out this new restaurant called KIS (Kambingan, Isdaan, Sisigan).
* Later, I went out with a cousin dying to go clubbing after a week-long voluntary probation (very much like my self-imposed curfew of 9pm). My cousin Lowe’s (who just went back to Cebu) boo whose birthday was on the following day, also came along. We gave her a pre-birthday bash at this club where we danced (just to let the sweat out) and drank (2 bottles of Tandu Jr. Ehe). People were getting freaky on top of their tables and the crowd got worked up with the not-so-female ledge dancers putting on a show, if you know what I mean. Ehe... but what's really weird was that approximately half of the population was composed of HS students. Sheesh, kids these days. Tsk, tsk, tsk...
* Right after, we moved to this station where we continued our drinking session (one more Tandu) and spent what's left of the early morn talking. Hahay... I don’t want to go on with the specifics but it was consumed by mushy talk. *cringes* last Tandu down and everything just flowed out for the both of them while I remained the spectator. From their conversation - it’s clear that the L word IS suicide. *LOL* but the lesson of the story - we will always have our true friends (cousins included) to crawl back to when nothings going right. And in two hours time, we were all feeling warm and fuzzy inside. Awwwwwww... please, can somebody strangle me? Anyone?
* Got home and slept at about 4:30am.

Sunday - hunting hidden books

* We went to church around 11am. I hadn't been to church in weeks; I still need to pay Him back with my spiritual shortcomings... BIG TIME.
* We then moved on to lunch. Instead of heading straight to fast food chains, the "elders" chose not to and suggested we check out what's cooking in the food court. Food there was cheap compared to other mall-restos so we had many options. I had a filling lunch of Pinoy cuisine - Bicol express, kare kare, dinugu-an/sampayna, etc. Lami...
* Like the day before, I ended up watching a movie - with Narnia and Zathura already in my seen list, and the third movie having this forgettable quality to it (its title I couldn't even remember. see? it is forgettable!), In Her Shoes was the only option. the movie had a light-hearted feel to it. the only thing I found remotely interesting was the first poem Cameron's character (dyslexic btw) read to the retired professor. I think it was One Art by Elizabeth Bishop - nice.
* After the film, I finally bought the books I’ve been eyeing since October! I was ecstatic to find them still; in the exact shelves I hid them. *evil laugh*
1. Sputnik Sweetheart by Haruki Murakami
2. Gathering Blue by Lois Lowry
3. The Sandman - Book of Dreams by Neil Gaiman
4. Lirael by Garth Nix
I was like a child working his way through a toy store. I would've wanted to buy the Wind-Up Bird Chronicle (Haruki Murakami) and Memoirs of a Geisha (Arthur Golden) but I was out of budget. Darn it! And because I feared natio will run out of those copies the next time I get back, I tucked them in inconspicuous nooks of different shelves. I hope nobody will come across my super secret hiding place *crosses fingers* hehehehehehe...
* We went back HOME. I was too tired to go out. Waited for drowsiness to seep in. slept at 1am. hehehe... good boy. :D

Monday - the present

* Here I am in front of a computer, blogging and hoping that today wont be exactly the same as every other day. It’s a good thing that I have new friends whose stories I am very much eager to hear. They should keep me from worrying about Mundania for a week or so. And now that my fingers are too tired to go on typing, I'm off to page 152… Please Sumire, amuse me.

what's a good title for this one?

i was damn pissed last night! the house was full of people hanging around to watch the pacquiao fight (delayed telecast) and even extended their stay till evening to witness the new grand champion of star in a million! plus my cousins were making so much ruckus with the videogames! i needed space, and lots of it! arrrrrrrr... God knows how much i detest noise and guests who stay longer than expected! but most importantly, i lost my unopened pack of cigarettes and somebody jammed a pellet of mentos powergum in my lighter! imagine that! whoevere's behind it must be really wicked to play a mean trick like that. shame on you whoever you are!

steaming with anger, i hastily went out without even having dinner. and to think the main course was afritada! *lami* but i was too irked to eat just then. i drove around a bit and texted my friends (using my father's phone. hehe) if they wanted to hang out. none of them replied! my temper reached new heights until finally i got an unexpected text from maya (unexpected because she rarely asks to hang-out with me) - she wanted to chill with a few of her friends, after eating that is. i had no other option so i zoned in on manuelito's bbq house where they were eating. when i got there, i realized that i only had forty pesos on me... not much to warrant a hearty meal of isaw/chicken bbq/longganisa/rice and a pack of cigarettes. well, i chose to buy myself the cig (stupid no? hehehe) to make up for the pack i lost. still, P40 wasnt enough but i assured myself that i could borrow money from them later. so i sat there, watching and waiting until they were full. moving on, we headed straight to starmart. they ordered the usual, tanduay and sprite. demn! i wanted to drink but chose not to in the end coz the stolen pack continued to haunt me. unable to hold it any longer, i asked if they could lend me P32 (desperate times bring desperate measures) but they were all empty, that they spent it on the alcohol already.. how embarassing! frustrated, i dug around my messenger bag and discovered plenty of one peso coins, which i managed to store the past week. the coins amounted to P37, add to that the P40 in my wallet and i ultimately ended up having P77 - just enough to buy ANOTHER pack with P5 to spare. GLORY! so i headed straight for the counter and got what i planned on getting and left them in their tandu session for some alone-time.

if there's one place that could clear up my clouded mind, it would've to be THE hill. i just wanted to sit there and enjoy the view ALONE. but when i got there, several people were around so i just had to compromise. i decided on a distant bench where i sat by myself, while the other benches were occupied by a group of three friends, a 30 sumthing couple, and a family of 5! how sad can this picture get!? i was the odd person out, puffing one stick after another.. they must've thought i was weird - a loner! well they're actually right. *ehe* and to make it worse, the couple had a cassette with them and my classmates' sembreak song was playing! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrr.. torment!

after several sticks, i finally found my happy place... THE hill has always been the antidote for my melancholic episodes, ALWAYS. there's nothing magical about it really... it overlooks the city, there's an old mango tree with glowing fruit thingies (some are burnt out btw), mini-lamp posts, concrete and steel benches, a murky fountain, blahblahblah... but it has been the focal point for many of my fondest memories.. must be why i find peace there... because it connects me to those meaningful days of past. toink!

after an ample dose of clarity, i went back home early - 9pm! in metro standards, that's way too early. hahay... but i felt better so i found no other reason to stay longer... back home, i finally acknowledged my stomach's protest so i ordered two donuts and two bunwiches (tuna AND ham and cheese). what joy! i was feeling much much better with my hunger sated when surprise of all surprises, mega called to check up on me! awwwww... that (and some other things i forgot) just made my day. then i slept happy.

all that fuss over a pack of cigarettes. sheesh! who's the petty one now? me. urk.

this is old

What makes a man so weak that he leads himself into his own undoing? Where can one find the power to keep everything on his calloussed palm? Whose hand plays the most critical role in spinning our life-thread?

Excuse the silly queries of one who's being swallowed by the ebb of maturity. Allow me to play along with life's drama and have me pretend that all is in its proper place.

I do not wish to disturb you with these words full of odious density but if thats the case then let me leave you with this... dont u ever dream of going back in time when everything was simple and anything that comes with "complex" wasn't even in your faintest interests? Back to being children - all fun and games. *hohum*

Mapping out one's life isn't the easiest thing to work out and getting to where you're supposed to be going is just as frustrating, more even. I guess reaching that state of happiness, true and genuine happiness, one that transcends and overshadows the problems that constantly pervade my lifespace, is the most pressing issue I have right now.

These fragmented thoughts will become whole sooner or later, held together with the strongest super glue I can find, that I'm sure of. Be it a person, a cause, an experience, or what have you...

It will come when it will come, that's what I keep telling myself. Hahay...

mumblings on a gray thursday

somehow, you managed to disarm me.

but i won't let you take that open blow.

now nobody wins,

until you give me a good reason to take a plunge.

and when that time comes...

even if ill make the sloppiest dive,

i'd still think i won the gold.

not that i'll ever qualify.

too funny

The Bottom Line

Romance is on your mind today -- someone is thinking about you and you can feel it.

In Detail

You want to travel so badly that if you could, you'd be in a cab on your way to the airport right now, passport in hand. If duty calls, however -- especially if it calls loudly enough to keep you off that plane (or out of that car) -- your sense of responsibility will kick in. In that case, the least you can do is to treat yourself to the company of someone new and exotic.
=======

bwahahahahaha... i hope u get to read this babe coz it's hella funny! but i dont think this'll ever work on you coz you're fine with games, aren't you?

who's your chew toy now virgin?

hahahaha... when will that glorious day come when you'll throw away your schemes and dirty plots for that one person who'll sweep you off to mars?

karma, baby... just you wait. it'll be your turn, sooner or later.

*snickers*

this just in

i have a new addiction: biting through headphone chords, the rubbery keypads on remote controls, erasers, and various other gummy objects. just about anything to sink my teeth into. hahay... the things i "discover" when i'm idle.

come on 2006! it's been a slow start... throw me a hurricane that'll lift me to every black balloon that needs popping.

ill go look for a suitable pin now. nyeh?

virgohoro 010806

The Bottom Line

Express your ideas without hoping the other person approves. You know you're right.

In Detail

The urge to say exactly what's on your mind has hit, thanks to a new friend who's nothing if not strongly opinionated. The more you associate with them, the more you can expect some rather odd and coincidental occurrences over the course of the day. Feeling as you do, it's also a given that what you'll be saying will be a bit over the top -- especially to those who aren't used to seeing you in this condition. Don't even try to hold anything back, though. It's your turn to vent. Big time. They'll get over it.
======

uy, this is a better horoscope compared to the previous ones. no word of partners. blech! watch out. hihihihihi *evil grin*

stalkerish

The Bottom Line

Good nutrition improves your brain power. Investigate ways to improve your health.

In Detail

If anyone is famous for loving secrets -- well, yes, it's definitely you. That goes for most, if not all circumstances. At the moment, conducting an intensive investigation at work will be even more appealing to you, and the nature of the issue won't matter at all. The point is that your curiosity will be running on high and your detective side will emerge -- big time. Just be sure that no one who may be responsible gets wind of what you've uncovered.
======

investigate ways to improve health daw! the truth has come out, your cover is blown you stalker! nyahahahaha... this sums up your 2005 horoscope, more or less. funny.

erm... grandmaster stalker, i have a favor to ask of you... *evil grin* ;P

thanks pussy princess

ill make u bleed the best way i know how, bitch. trickle, trickle, spill, and curdle, just you wait.

what if...

it was just you and me, with our hushed tones. and yes, the probing wind who hastily freed our secrets to sleeping trees and crickets busy playing music. despite the charcoal sky's constant stirring, we lingered, only to lend our ears and our hearts. even with the citrus-smoke and the riotous rustling of shrews, everything fell under unanimity for us.

peering over resplendent lights with you on that hill, that's how it was, how it should be. thank you for making me wish that time would stop on fancied moments...

listen, how strange the sound.

a taste

glazed with melancholy
seasoned with euphoria
fruit of olympus
i crave for you

my hands are trembling
my mouth is eager
my thoughts are racing
my heart burns

dip me in ecstasy
flavor me with your bitter-sweetness
color my soul
make me sore

free from doubt
bound to anticipation
even if it conquers me
i am ready

take me high
and throw me back down
falling wont count for much
i will float, we'll see

gods, i implore you
fulfill my desire
harrass me with your might
i will persist until the cold takes me

for now, i can only imagine
with parted lips i shall greet you
you who they call ambrosia

curl your fingers round my naked tongue
embrace me with heaven's flavor

all i ask is just a taste